The Face of an Angel
by brokendisguise
Summary: Edward left Bella, we all know this to be true. Instead of her jumping from the cliff, Victoria catches up to her and holds her captive while torturing her. Edward moves on, with Alice. Leaving Jasper the odd man out. He finds Bella with Peter and Char.
1. Hell

**Disclaimer: I do not own! S.M does**

Blood dripped from her mouth as I began to burn. I screamed out in agony as she laughed with glee. "Oh this is going to be so fun!" Her child like amusement grated on my nerves, "I'm so proud of myself for what I've been able to do, I thought I would kill you for sure, but this is better!"

I burned for an eternity, screaming out and choking back broken sobs. She had won, but she wouldn't take everything from me. I pulled all of my memories to the front, focusing entirely on them. I would remember my family, I would keep them in the forefront of my mind. Edward, my soul mate that no longer wanted me, Esme, my mother, Carlisle, my father. Alice, my sister and best friend would see, she would save me. Emmet, the bear of a brother that never had a cruel thing to say about anyone, Rose, his wife. And last but not least, Jasper, the one to ease my mind while running from James. Charlie and Renee, the parents that I had loved and cared for so much. I would remember them all.

The last image to flood my eyes before the fire took over completely was the russet skin and bright smile that lit up my life when I was at my darkest, Jacob Black. I slipped into darkness, soon losing how I had gotten to that place, not knowing how she had won, but aware that she had. Victoria had me where she wanted me, and there was a sadistic glint in her eye, I would be going through hell.

When the flames finally died I was lying on the floor of a dark room. I could sense the darkness and my instincts told me to run. Before I could open my eyes, I screamed out in agony as my arms and legs were simultaneously torn from my torso.

"Now, Now. Hush, I can't have you running away before we've had time to play." Her voice bounced off the walls and I opened my eyes to look at her. There were four others with her, men, they each held one of my limbs momentarily before throwing them into a heap across the large room. "I'm going to implement every kind of torture I can devise, while keeping you alive. Then I'm going to unleash you on the world and watch the destruction with joy." Her voice was still the childlike glee that it had been just as I had started to burn.

My throat was burning uncomfortably, "Thirst." I rasped out, knowing I was helpless.

"Go get her some food." She ordered one of the men, "Something small."

He left and the room was silent, Victoria started a fire in an old fireplace and stuck a poker into it to heat. "Did you know that our venom leaves scars? Well, it isn't the only thing like some others believe, fire does too. The reason many people don't know it is they normally don't survive because our venom is so damn flammable." She was more talking to her self than to me.

"Prop her up so she can feed." She ordered another male. He came over and lifted me, propping me against the concrete wall. He sniffed me, then he started touching me, my face, my sides, then my breasts, his hands worked their way lower. "There will be time for that later!" Victoria growled angrily.

The first male had returned with a small child, instinctively I inhaled, but I didn't want to drain the child. I didn't thirst for the child's blood, it smelled good, but not like food. "I don't want it!" I choked out angrily, "Animal!" I bellowed, losing strength from my limbs being ripped off.

"You dare turn down what I offer you?" Victoria chided, she grabbed the small girl by her hair and forced her to look at me. The little girl screamed, but it was cut short as Victoria sank her teeth deep into her throat, even with the freshly spilled blood, the child didn't appeal to me and I turned my head to keep from having to watch her drain the babe.

Once she was sated of her own thirst, Victoria pulled the poker from the fire, it glowed red hot as she thrust it into my chest, I roared in agony. The poker was pulled out and thrust into the side of my throat, another roar bounced off the walls. A peal of laughter joined the roar and Victoria sat cross legged on the floor. "Alright boys, time to play."

The four men descended on me and I growled at them, knowing their wicked intentions. They each chuckled darkly and lay their hands on my flesh. I screamed out in rage as one of them bit me, the others followed suit and each of them sank their teeth into my flesh repeatedly. From their it escalated, I was their toy and powerless to stop them from using me, from violating me. A dry sob slipped out as the first one unzipped his jeans.

Alice POV-

I was panicked, running as fast as I could toward Forks, Edward, Emmet, and Jasper hot on my heels. "What the hell is going on?" Emmet growled angrily.

"Victoria!" Edward seethed.

Nothing more needed to be said, we stupidly crossed the boundary into Quileute land, just to get to the cliff side where my vision had occurred. A growl resonated from the trees and a large russet wolf leapt out in front of us.

"Jacob Black!" Edward tied to contain his growl, "Where is Bella?"

He listened to the thoughts of the wolf to get the answer to his question. The wolf let out a whine, "How could you let her get to my Bella?" Edward growled.

The wolf's responding growl showed that he was angry, Edward dropped to his knees. "I had no idea, Jacob. I would have never left her had I known what it would do to her."

I was crippled by another vision of Bella, Victoria sank her teeth into her and took a step back to watch as Bella started to burn. I heard her words, her pride in herself for accomplishing what she hadn't thought she could.

"She's going to change her." I gasped.

"We can't follow the scent, Victoria jumped into the water, we have no idea where she went. Jacob, we'll leave here, there is nothing we can do." Edward was resigned, his voice hollow and betraying nothing, Jasper's face was contorted with the agony that each of us felt.

As we slowly left the scene, Jacob Black phased, "If Bella comes back here as a human blood drinker, she will be killed. If you find her take her far away, since none of your family will be the ones to change her, the treaty stands. But do not think it wise to overstep your bounds again." His voice too was hollow, it was obvious that he had grown to care for Bella much more than expected by anyone.

The four of us went to the house in Forks to regroup. We sat around the dining room table, having removed the sheet and thrown it to the floor in the corner, we just needed a place to talk about what was happening.

"Victoria's mind is more twisted than any mind I've ever seen, human or vampire alike. She is planning to change Bella or has done so already, we were too late to stop that. We have three days before she can do anything more to Bella, we can still save her." Edward had slipped into a cool and calculated mask, we all had, but it was only a mask, inside the four of us were burning.

"Alice did you see anything that could help us find them?"

"No, they were in an old cellar from the look of it, but nothing to tell us what state or even what country it is in." I focused, trying to see another vision, I walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a pencil and a sketch pad, then I began to sketch everything I could see.

"Edward, you need to keep in mind that none of this has happened yet, but you need to be prepared in case we are too late." He was visibly shaking from what he was reading in my head, I was as well.

I sketched out the dark room, a heap of limbs that lay separate from the broken torso. The four men that Victoria had with her, surrounding Bella, Bella defenseless. The small body that lay limp on the floor, a child whose eyes had lost all signs of life as they stared in the direction of the men. The pencil snapped and I couldn't bring myself to draw out more. Emmet looked at the image I had drawn and slammed his fist down into the table, "No one is going to hurt my little sister that way! No one!" He bellowed, breaking the table in half.

We called to tell Carlisle, Esme, and Rose what was going on and they all joined us in our search. We couldn't find Bella. I would never forgive myself for allowing Bella to be raped by four men and tortured by a psychopath after having her limbs torn off. When it happened, Bella would be broken. We searched continuously, knowing by my visions that Victoria still held her prisoner, but never getting a clue as to where they were. Two years passed before I had the vision that changed everything, Victoria leaned in with her teeth exposed, when she touched her teeth to flesh, the vision was gone.

"Keep searching for her future!" Edward bellowed angrily.

I tried and got nothing, Bella was gone, Victoria had grown bored and finished her off. The whole family worked to stop Edward from running to the Volturri and his death. In the end, it was me that got through to him. In the process of helping him heal, Jasper and I grew apart and decided it was time to divorce. He and I were not true mates, and we both knew it from the beginning, but we had chosen to lean on each other and marry as a means to an end. We agreed that we would know when the time came to move on and we did.

I was able to focus all of my energy on helping Edward to heal, he, in turn began helping me to heal as well. I had lost a sister, he had lost his love. The family had been torn to pieces because we knew of the hell she suffered before she died.

B POV-

She leaned in to bite my throat and suddenly, I didn't exist anymore. I was nothing of the person I had been, I didn't even know who that was. Victoria had broken me so completely that I didn't know who I was. My torso was riddled with scars, bite marks, a scar over where my heart was and one in my throat. Her pets used me as they pleased when she gave them permission, I was but a toy.

Those people that I held in my memories lent me no comfort, no salvation. I knew their faces better than I knew my torturer's but I no longer knew there names. It didn't matter, they weren't going to save me, no one was going to save me. Victoria was the only name I could remember, but it was only because her pets called her by name often.

She would bring me animals every so often, claiming that I needed strength to feel the pain and I refused to drink from humans. I didn't want humans, they didn't appeal to me. I was weak, too weak to defend myself against her or her men, I had to endure. She walked toward me with the hot poker, jamming it into the same place, the place she favored, my dead heart.


	2. Scars

The torture continued and I could feel that she was beginning to grow bored of me, I was not long for the world. "You've been with me eight years, you've become accustomed to things, and you're no fun anymore. Why won't you scream for me anymore?"

I refused to answer her. She ordered the men to do what they wished with me and began heading for the door. Suddenly, the door burst open and two blond vampires blocked her escape. The female looked from me to the approaching men and said something low and quiet to her companion. She faced off with Victoria while he faced off with the four men. The sound of screeching metal was ricocheting off the walls as they tore their limbs off and threw them into a pillar of flames.

"There could be more, get her limbs, I'll get her torso. We'll get her to a safe place before we fuse her back together." The man said. I was unaware of who they were talking about and snarled at him when he approached me. I couldn't stop him from picking me up and cradling me against his chest then running with me out the door.

They ran with me for what seemed like forever, jumping into a river and struggling with my body to swim upstream. When they finally came to a stop we were all on dry ground again, they took stock of the situation. The man leaned me against a boulder and reached his hand out behind him, the woman handed him one of my legs.

"If I put your arms and legs back on, you can't hurt me, okay?" He said quietly.

I didn't respond, I was terrified and confused, my instincts screamed at me and I didn't know what to do.

"My name is Peter, this is my wife and mate Charlotte, I promise we mean you no harm." His voice was a soft whisper as he held my leg in place for my body to heal, I winced in pain, but it was nothing compared to what I had suffered at the hands of Victoria.

"Do you have a name?" The woman asked, kneeling down to hold my other leg into place. I knew I wouldn't attack them, but I would be wary. I searched my memories, there were faces, but no words, no names, solemnly I shook my head.

"We heard what she said to you, she had had you for eight years. Do you remember anything before then?" The man asked, his voice still a velvet whisper.

Again I shook my head.

"She looks so innocent, and she was barely more than a child when she was changed by the looks of her." The woman reached out and stroked my cheek, I flinched from the contact and growled.

"She may be innocent Char, but that doesn't mean her fear won't cause her to bite your fingers off and swallow them if you spook her. Mind yourself, you saw what was going on in that pit." The man was angry, "I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner."

He methodically helped to reattach my left arm while his mate did the right. I felt the venom burning to reattach the limbs and watched as the scars began to form. "You'll be better in a few days, physically I mean."

"Peter, don't say things like that!" The woman shrilled.

"Charlotte, look at her, she's broken. Mentally, I'm not sure if she'd be stable enough to travel alone. I'm not sure she'll be stable at all."

"Then we'll help her." The woman was stubborn and stared at me with something I didn't recognize in her eyes, "Look at her, she's an animal drinker."

"We don't know if that was by choice or if it was forced on her by the redhead to keep her weaker."

"Her missing limbs did that enough." The woman growled, I growled in response, if things were going to turn ugly, I would at least be able to put up a fight. I thought back on what I had watched them do in an uneven fight to their disadvantage, I would put up a fight, but I would surely die.

"Shh, Dove, we aren't going to hurt you. Can you stand?" She held out her hand to me, it was tiny and fragile looking, on impulse I took it and stood. I took a moment to revel in having my limbs again and stretched them out, rocking back on my heels.

"Here, there are some clothes in there, you are welcome to them." The man held out a bag to me, I opened the clasp and pulled out some clothes and pulled them on. "Do you want to hunt?" He asked when I was dressed.

I inhaled deeply and growled as I bolted after the first thing with a heartbeat that smelled appealing to me. I downed a large bear and drank greedily. I heard someone approach as I drained the last of it's blood and dropped the bear to spin on my heel and roar at the intruder. "Easy now, it's only me. I'm not trying to intrude." The man still spoke to me softly, as if he were speaking to a child.

"There are humans nearby, she could smell them and yet went for the bear, she's an animal drinker by nature it seems."

"Could it be a choice?" The woman asked.

"I don't think so, she's far too animalistic to be weighing pros and cons, it's her instinct to hunt animals, she is a very different kind of vampire." The man chuckled.

"Come with us Dove, we'll take care of you, you need to rest and heal now. Peter, call and see if we can use the house in Tennessee for awhile." She reached her hand out to me and I took it, pulling her down to the ground and learning her scent and face. She smelled of lilac and hyacinth, I sat behind her, hiding from the man in her hair, he watched from the corner of his eye.

I watched him pull a phone out of his pocket and push a few buttons, I could clearly hear both sides of the conversation.

"Hey man!" The voice on the other side said.

"Hey, I have a favor to ask."

"Name it."

"Can Char and I use the house in Tennessee for awhile? We really need it."

"Sure, it's no problem, you guys finally deciding to try my way of life?" There was a chuckle from the other man.

"Not exactly, we need a place for our new friend to feel safe. She was being tortured, worse than a lot of the things Maria did to keep us in line, her captor was growing bored and was going to dispatch her. Something about the girl, I just had to save her, but she's animalistic, haywire, and I think her mental stability may never return."

"You are going to keep her alive with her being unstable?"

"Char and I are going to take complete responsibility for her, brother, she has the face of an angel and I couldn't bring myself to kill her if I wanted to. We just need to get her calm and get her to realize she's safe, then we can move forward from there and try to help her through it all."

"Anything else I can help with? I can join you, if you like."

"Right now another unfamiliar male would be a bad idea, Char seems to be the only one she will trust."

"If you need me."

"I'll call, thank you for the house, oh and brother?"

"Yeah?"

"She's an animal drinker. It's the strangest thing, it's a compulsion to hunt animals and not people. She doesn't have the ability to make a weighted decision, so it seems that animals naturally appeal to her more than humans."

"That's good news, maybe one day we will get to meet her."

"You sound tired, how are things?"

"Difficult, to say the least. Emotions are still so painful and negative, we are getting through it though."

"I still feel for your family, the loss you suffered seems to have been a large one, and then your wife on top of that."

"She remarried, she was not my true mate, and you know that, Peter. I'm happy that she's found some solace and together they are moving forward."

"I still don't get it."

"You don't have to." The other man chuckled.

"Thanks again brother."

"Not a problem."

He hung up the phone and turned to the two of us with a smile. "We are all set ladies. Let's move."

"Come on Dove, we are going home." The woman stood and kept my hand in hers, we began our trek to the safe house and I was beginning to feel a little more comfortable with the two of them. I was still greatly uncertain about the man, but the woman was kind to me and I read no false emotions in her eyes, she was not pretending or planning to betray me.

Days came and went while we traveled and finally we arrived at what I assumed was our destination. It was a large, empty house, set up with furniture and anything that might be needed. I changed into clean clothes and sought out a room to hide in.

I would flinch and growl at any sound in the nearly silent house, I was still on edge and didn't know what to do. The only one that could enter my room was the woman, and she told me that the man was upset that I couldn't trust him, but assured me that he wasn't angry and knew it would just take time. There was a couch in the room I had chosen, and she would often come in to find me curled into a ball, she would sit with me, running her fingers through my hair. She would talk to me about everything and nothing, just trying to bring me out of my shell.

One day she brought up the day they saved my life, and I couldn't control the sobs that wracked my body for what had been done to me. She made sure I knew that wasn't what things were supposed to be like, that I had gotten captured by a cruel and heartless woman who was not there mentally. When she talked about saving me, or what I knew of life, she would gently run her fingers over the scar on my throat. Sometimes, she would trace the bite marks on my shoulders.

About a month after we had gotten to the house, she walked in to find me staring into a mirror, wearing a collared button up shirt with long sleeves. I had chosen the shirt to cover my scars, they made her sad and I didn't like to see her sad, I didn't like to see the venom well up in her eyes because of the pain I had endured.

"Oh, Dove, it's summertime." She sighed, "Why are you wearing long sleeves?"

I said nothing, I never said anything, I never needed to.

"Oh, sweetheart, you don't have to cover them up. They are nothing to be ashamed of." She stepped over in front of me and hugged me to her, "They are a part of who you are."

I stared at the reflection of my face over her shoulder and sighed, if only I knew who that was. "Dove, are you going to come out of your room today?"

I shook my head.

"Come on, it's time for you to get to know Peter and realize he's nothing to be scared of. You can't spend eternity locked away from people." I saw how much she cared in her eyes. I was starting to come into my senses, I was still unable to get past my fear, but I was able to think over things rationally and was able to make some conscious decisions.


	3. Loss

I came out of my room and got to know Peter as she asked, I found that I didn't mind his company as much as I had originally thought. I was able to take comfort in both of them, I couldn't help growling at him when he hurt Char's feelings or when he growled at her over her stubbornness though. I knew he didn't take it personally, so it didn't cause problems. Besides, my emotions were usually quick to change, so my fits of anger never lasted. Char could ask me to do anything, and I would, so if I grew angry, she'd drag me out to pick flowers, and successfully distracted me from my troubles.

I accompanied Char on one of her hunts, knowing I would not be hunting, but I wouldn't let her go alone and Peter had something he needed to take care of and would join us later. She caught the scent of a lone hiker and headed in that direction, she had been entirely focused on the hunt and missed the scent of the other predator closing in on her prey. She latched onto the man's throat and there was a snarl in the trees, Charlotte turned a second too late, catching the brunt of the attack from the other vampire.

The man was thrown off of her and I jumped between them, crouched to spring and growling low in my throat for him to back off. He wasn't angry with me, he was angry with Char for taking his meal and wanted revenge.

He came forward, trying to get by me to Char and I grabbed him by his throat and threw him backwards. Charlotte was stunned and watched as I protected her from the man. Two more forms slinked out of the trees to join him, sinister grins on their faces. I could feel Char begin to panic, but I was calm on the inside, the first man lunged with a kick and I ripped his leg from his body and used it to hit the other two with when they lunged, they flew backwards and slammed into the ground.

The first one grabbed hold of my leg and bit into it, I roared in pain and reached down, twisting his head from his body and throwing it away from us, then I kicked his body aside just in time to catch the second man as he tackled me to the ground. Char growled and his attention went to her, he lunged at her, but I was on his back before he could get there, I used my teeth to tear his head and left shoulder from the rest of his body. The third male lunged then and I made quick work of dismembering him as well. I could sense a fourth male in the distance and growled in frustration. Would it never end?

"It's me Dove!" Peter's voice came out of the trees. He jogged into sight and I remained crouched until he was three feet away and I was sure he meant no harm. I turned to check Char for injuries, she was completely unscathed so I calmly stood and began collecting pieces of the attackers and piling them up. Peter handed me a book of matches and I lit one, dropping it on the bodies.

"Are the two of you okay?" He asked angrily, "Did they hurt either of you?"

"Dove got bitten on her thigh, but I'm fine, she protected me."

"I saw. I'm glad to say that with her you are in good hands." Peter came to me and touched my leg with the injury, "Are you okay, Dove?"

A growl rumbled from my throat, but it wasn't a threat. He mussed my hair with a smile on his face, "Let's get home."

When we arrived home I began questioning myself and my past. There were so many things I didn't know, so many faces in my mind that taunted me, faces of people that meant as much to me as Charlotte had. Was the reason I couldn't remember the fact that I had failed to save them? Who were they? Did they love me, were they my family? I had so many questions, and zero answers. Charlotte and Peter called me Dove because I had no other name, would I ever remember or would I be stuck as no one for eternity.

Images of what I could remember came roaring into my mind, the men having their way with me, the pain of the burning poker, the bite marks that covered my torso and throat. I wanted to know why, why I had been forced to endure such things, why had Victoria always gone for my heart, what had I done to deserve it?

I curled into a ball on the sofa, so uncertain of everything, and I couldn't stop sobbing. I had no past, and I almost lost the person that saved me from hell. I was filled with terror. My hand reached out to grab the plush rabbit Peter had gotten me when I wouldn't come out of my room. I sobbed harder into the fur as I realized I could have lost everything on one hunt. If something had happened to Char, Peter would have been destroyed, she was his everything.

"Dove, I'm okay, I'm not going anywhere." Charlotte came into the room and sat on the couch with me, running her fingers through my hair lazily, her touch just made me sob even harder.

I stayed that way for days, and Char never left my side. She whispered reassuring things in my ear, but I was too lost in agony to care. Finally, Char called for Peter, "It's time to make the call." She said.

"Alright." He touched my shoulder but I was too far gone to feel it.

I heard a voice on the other end of the phone.

"I'll be there in the morning."

"Keep in mind brother, our little one is extremely protective of Charlotte. She took out three seasoned vampires on her own in Char's defense of a hunt."

"I'll keep that in mind."

J POV-

I had to admit, I was interested in finally meeting the girl that Peter had saved. The only other person besides Char he had ever gone out of his way to save had been me. There must have been something special about this girl for him to save her, and then to devote so much time and energy into helping her heal mentally. He had told me more about her situation, she had been raped repeatedly and the woman that kept her had jammed a fire poker into her heart. He told me the girl looked almost as bad as I did with scars covering the entirety of her torso. He told me that when she was angry, she looked terrifying, and that her emotions seemed to range only the very basic human emotions, sadness, anger, and happiness, but she was changing as time went by. It wasn't necessarily a good thing either, he told me that sometimes she was just child like, as if reverting into a less mature persona eased her pain.

I hopped the first flight out of Alaska and arrived in Tennessee at around Three in the morning. I ran from there and the house was in sight before the sun was coming up. I could feel the emotions radiating from the house and knew that the double dose of worry and love that I was feeling were coming from Peter and Charlotte. The other emotional entity in the house was a complete mess of chaotic emotion. There was anger, agony, loss, confusion, self doubt, and self loathing.

I approached the house in a sort of daze, being drawn in by the pain and the scent of freesia and strawberries. My mind was nagging at me to use caution, but the compulsion to continue forward over powered that. I reached a securely closed door and that was when the growls started.

"Dove, it's okay, it's just my idiot brother that doesn't know what caution means." Peter grumbled, trying to soothe what sounded like a savage beast.

He opened to door, blocking me from view, "You better look damn submissive, she thinks you're after Char."

"I didn't hear her speak."

"She doesn't, but we know what she wants us to know regardless."

I allowed my eyes to fall to the floor and slowly entered the room when Peter stepped back. My nose was assaulted by the scent and my senses screamed for me to look up, but I would do as I was told and not make the situation worse. I attempted to use my gift to calm the girl, and she knew something was up because she released a ferocious snarl. I reigned it in and the growls suddenly stopped.

"Don't control her emotions." Peter snapped.

"I'm not, she stopped on her own." I said, confused.

The temperament of her emotions changed too, she was no longer angry and protective, but confused, and I felt a sense of recognition coupled with more confusion. Then came sadness and loss.

"You can look up now." Char whispered, "It's okay Dove, he's not going to hurt anyone. His eyes are gold just like yours, he won't even hurt humans. Jasper tries very hard to be good."

I let my eyes slowly trail up her legs and to her stomach, then I heard something that would have made my heart stop, had it been beating.

"Jasper?" Suddenly, my eyes were boring into hers, her golden orbs showing her confusion and pain. Her eyebrows were arched as if she were asking a question she didn't expect of herself, and her perfect cupid's bow of a mouth was open very slightly. I gasped and held my breath, examining her long, luscious waves of chestnut hair interspersed with red and honey streaks. Taking in the face of the girl I believed to be dead, and realizing how beautiful she had become. She had been beautiful as a human, but as she stood before me, she put Rosalie to shame. I had to lock down my own emotions when I took in the utter perfection that was her body, she didn't need that.

"Jasper, you alright?" Char asked, wondering why I had said nothing.

"You said a woman had her?" I whispered.

"Yeah."

"A woman with bright red hair?" I asked through my teeth.

"How did you kn-" Peter cut off, "Who is she Jazz?"

"It's her." I muttered, "We all thought she was gone."

Bella faced me once more, "Who are you?" Her face was set in lines of determination, "I know you, why do I know your face better than I know my own?"

I couldn't speak, I could barely wrap my head around the gravity of the situation.

"Dove, let's go and pick some flowers, I'd love to have some in the kitchen for our guest." Charlotte smiled.


	4. Who Was I

**AN: I just wanted to thank you all for the wonderful response I've received and the reviews. I adore each and every one of you and that means I'll be updating as quickly as I can. I do have two little ones and have to work around them, please just keep that in mind. **

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Bella stared at me for a moment longer before taking Char's hand and following her outside. Peter and I went out to the balcony and watched them while they gathered flowers a distance away. Soon, Bella was smiling and enjoying her time with Charlotte. It was easy to see that there was something wrong. She couldn't have been completely healthy if she was so easily distracted by trivial things.

"Is it bad Peter?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"She doesn't remember anything before the torture. She's still not completely whole and she knows that she knows you from somewhere. She gets so upset sometimes, and normally, we are able to pull her out of it, but the fear of losing Charlotte, along with everything she's already lost, took her over the edge. Hell, if you hadn't come in and pissed her off, she wouldn't be out there right now. Distracting her is normally very easy and she loves being with Char, she would do anything for her."

"She was tortured for eight years, after two we thought she was dead."

"She's lost herself completely, I'm surprised it took that long to break such an innocent creature so completely. Is she the one you told me about? Are you sure?" He turned to look me in the eye.

"She's Bella. She's the whole reason my family is at odds and the reason we hunted Victoria for so long. We failed her, Peter, we never came to her rescue." I put my face in my hands, the guilt washing over me and overshadowing every other emotion.

"You didn't fail her, you all rely on Alice's visions, she saw no future for her, therefore you all believed it to be too late. Even then you kept looking. I'm certain she wouldn't blame you. She just wants to know what she can't remember."

"Do you think it wise that I tell her now?"

"That she has a whole family that loves her? Now is as good a time as any."

Little did we know, the choice wasn't ours to make. Bella and Char came back into the house and we joined them in the front room, Bella was ignoring everyone, a pencil in her hand, drawing furiously. She was concentrating, trying to get every last detail in her drawings correct, then she stood and walked over to me, sitting down on the coffee table and throwing the first drawing into my lap.

"Who is this?" She demanded.

"Dove, maybe now isn't a good time." Char said quietly.

"Now is perfect, who is she?" The picture was an amazingly detailed sketch of Esme.

"She's my mother."

"Don't lie to me!" She growled, she began throwing all of her drawings into my lap, one by one. "Who are these people? Why can I remember their faces and not their names, who the hell was I?"

"Slow down, Dove." Peter warned.

She leveled her gaze on him, her rage thick enough to choke on, and he backpedaled, "I only mean that there is a certain order these things go in. Relax, you'll get your answers."

"You are Isabella Marie Swan, at least that was the name you were born with." I pulled out a picture she'd drawn and showed it to her, "This is your father Charlie Swan, he was the police Chief in Forks Washington. Your mother was Renee," I pulled out another picture and handed it to her, "she remarried and was living in Phoenix, you moved in with your dad to allow your mother to travel with her new husband. You were always sacrificing your own wants and needs for the people around you. You met my coven, while human and in school. This is Edward," I pulled out his picture and laid it on top of the one of her mother in her hands, "You fell in love with him and he loved you very much. He brought you to meet the rest of us, you knew what we were and you accepted us. You didn't see the monsters we had been turned into, you saw the people we aspired to be. Alice-" I handed her another picture, "- was my wife at the time, she quickly became your best friend. Carlisle and Esme counted you as one of their own, they loved you like a daughter and still love you just as much as the day we lost you. Emmet was the big brother figure, he is married to Rosalie. Rosalie was never too kind to you."

"And you? How did you fit into the mix?" Bella asked.

"I was married to Alice, and I too counted you among the family."

"Why is it that his face makes me hurt?" She asked, handing Edward's picture back to me.

"He left, we all did, but it was his decision that caused it to happen. You got a paper cut on your birthday and I couldn't control myself. You got hurt terribly and we all thought it would be less dangerous for you if we left you alone. We found out later how much our leaving had hurt you and that you had been taken by Victoria, but we couldn't find you. No matter how hard we tried."

"Why did Victoria hurt me?" She asked, her eyes boring into mine.

"Because we killed her mate to save your life." I hung my head in shame, "Everything you went through was because of us, and I won't blame you if you never forgive the whole family, and I definitely won't blame you if you never for give me, it was my lack of control that caused us to leave you to begin with." My voice was hollow as I tried to contain my emotions, "But please, let me ease the mind of the family and let them know you are alive."

"No." Her answer was soft, "I'm not ready yet."

I nodded my head as she dropped the drawings to the floor and headed up the stairs. Her emotions were hectic and disconnected, but her face was a calm mask carefully put into place.

"She's so strong." Char whispered, "She has been raped hundreds of times, yet she still has pieces of herself. I wouldn't have been that strong." She shuddered at the thought.

"How do you know how often she was raped?" I asked.

"From what you've told us before, and the fact that it got to a point where it didn't reach her anymore. Upstairs is one hell of a strong woman, she held onto her sanity the only way she could, by deciding that she didn't exist and letting go of her memories."

"You should have seen the look in her eye when we saved her, there was just enough of her left, just enough to tell me that she had held on, she knew she would get out of there. She may not have consciously realized it, but she knew it deep down."

I was listening to their words, but my eyes had followed Bella up the stairs, I fought the urge to follow her, to be sure she didn't vanish on me, but her emotions were still floating down to me.

"I'd like to stay for awhile, if the two of you are okay with that."

"It's your house." Peter shrugged, I felt his acceptance, "But if you hurt her, I'll rip your arms off and beat you to death with them."

"I won't hurt her." I wanted to talk to her, just wanted to be able to see her face, but I let her be.

Bella POV-

I lounged across my couch and stared up at the ceiling. Venom stung my eyes, but it would never fall, it would remain puddled in my eyes until I could pull my sadness back enough for it to dissipate. I toyed with the ear of my plush rabbit while I let the new information sink into me. I had people out there that loved me, people that counted me among their ranks. But because of one stupid mistake made by someone who was supposed to love me, I was ripped away from it all. A mother and father I could never see again, then there was the boy, the one I hadn't drawn. He still had no name, but his russet skin and nearly black eyes tugged at my heart. When I thought of him, I would feel so much pain, like I was empty inside.

My thoughts had become more clear, more coherent, and I found my mental voice using words I didn't know I knew until they were there. I still couldn't stand the thought of losing anyone else, and with that thought came the crushing reality, I had lost so much. My heart shattered and I gasped, then I looked down at the rabbit in my arms.

"Bunny, there has been too much hurt, too much pain. Let's try to focus on moving forward." I whispered so only she would hear. I was aware that I was insane for talking to an inanimate object, but I just couldn't stop myself. That particular rabbit was like my direct line to Peter, my savior, my protector. I would try to stop hurting, stop focusing on the past that I couldn't remember.

A sudden flash occurred in my mind and I was taken backwards. In my mind I stood in a kitchen, staring at yellow cupboards, Charlie standing at my side. It was the first of many memories.


	5. Broken

**Hello again Lovies! Another thank you for the wonderful reviews I'm getting. You guys sure know how to stroke a person's ego. I'm updating as quickly as possible for those faithful readers who review and add me to alerts and faves. 3 You are all so great!

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Jasper POV-

I called home to let them know I would be staying longer, an indefinite amount of time. After a week, the stress had come off of me completely because I wasn't under their constant torrent of emotions and my new housemates were more laid back and calm. Bella warmed up to me and would join me on my hunts. She was able to relax and have fun, but there was still a child like feel to all of it. Peter had said it was a huge change from the silent, sad girl he had been living with. It was so strange to feel the brotherly adoration that he felt for her, she was like the cherished and protected little sister that he never had. His devotion to her was breathtaking, he would die for Bella, and she would die for him. The two of them had a connection I had never seen in all my long years.

I was no expert on mental illnesses, and I didn't want to believe Bella was irrevocably broken because of what had happened to her. Sometimes it seemed that she was reverting back into immaturity to escape her issues, which truly wasn't a healthy way to handle it. At that point in time, she still couldn't make a weighted decision, though she seemed to be trying to come back into herself. She was exercising all of her effort and energy into showing Peter, Charlotte, and myself how happy she was, while her true emotions backed her up. Part of me felt like I wasn't feeling everything. Most people felt more than one emotion at once, I was getting single emotions from Bella and it either meant she was more seriously damaged than originally thought or that she could somehow shield her emotions from me. I saw no way of her doing so, it had to have been the first option.

Bella didn't bring up her past much, she asked me about her personality and I told her how shy and insecure she had been when human, she actually laughed because she couldn't understand why she was so insecure. She knew nothing but being beautiful, so beautiful that even she couldn't deny it, and once her limbs were reattached she was strong. She was proud of her beauty and strength as long as she was wearing long sleeves. Her scars bothered her, so she hid them. She had confided in me that she couldn't stand the look of pain on Charlotte's face when she looked at them, so she simply kept them covered up. It was not a surprise to me that she didn't mention anyone looking at them with disgust or fear, the only people she'd showed them to were Peter and Char, and they had scars of their own.

My curiosity was burning, I wanted to see Bella's scars, but part of me felt that it would be too much to ask. I wanted to know what she had been through. I realized within that first week that nothing could make me see Bella in a negative light, when she would smile and take my hand to lead me out for a hunt it just melted my heart. I was more content around her than I had ever remembered being, and the feel of her hand in mine told me everything was going to be alright. I didn't know if it was because she was Bella, or because she was drop dead gorgeous that drew me in, but part of me knew I was sunk. She could ask me to walk into flames and I wouldn't hesitate, making her happy had become the single most important thing in my life. I couldn't help myself, it was as if I had no choice in the matter. With Alice, I always had a choice, we were never in love as lovers should be. With Bella, it was as if my heart made the choice, and every other part of me followed.

We were in the front room, I was sitting on the couch and Bella was stretched across my lap. I was intensely focused on her face as I played with her hair, her eyes were closed and the emotion I was getting was pure bliss. A quiet sigh was all it took for the scene to change from something friends did to something that was entirely too intimate for friendship. I was battling the sudden urge to lean down and press my lips to hers, trying to focus on anything but her mouth, but my eyes trailed lower to her full breasts, something else I wouldn't mind pressing my mouth to. I closed my eyes to rid my head of the images playing there. I realized I was truly the worst type of monster, one who knew what she had been through and wanted her still.

Peter's growl reached me from another part of the house and he said, "You're projecting, keep it reigned in Major!"

Bella's eyes popped open and she stared into my eyes for a long moment before saying anything. "You need to hunt." Her thumb swept beneath my eyes.

"I'm not thirsty, I hunted only yesterday." I countered.

"Your eyes are black."

"Are they?" I whispered hoarsely, it wasn't thirst that had drained the gold from my eyes, but of course, this innocent girl with the angel's face wouldn't understand that.

"Yes, so you are thirsty." She snapped, her anger at me flashing as she sat up.

Charlotte was quick to enter the room and take Bella's hands in her own.

"Dove, our eyes turn black because we need to feed, but there are also some emotions that make them change as well."

"I don't understand." Bella pouted, I bit hard on my bottom lip to keep from groaning at the sight. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to have Peter take me outside and beat me to death, the man in me was quickly becoming a problem in my friendship with Bella.

"Well, there are two main emotions that will drain our eyes of color, they are anger and lust." Charlotte explained.

Bella looked at me, confused, "What are you so angry about?"

The look on her face had me reeling, trying to come up with something I was angry about, to say anything other than I desired her. In so many ways, she was childlike, completely innocent. I found myself at a loss for an answer, so I just shrugged.

"Then you need to hunt." She demanded, standing and pulling me from the couch before dragging me outside to hunt.

I hunted, just to make Bella happy with me again and not have to answer the questions she had asked, to make her feel as if I only wanted her body. The bear had gotten in a lucky shot and split my shirt down the front, I just ignored it and went to find Bella. She was just finishing off her deer when I found her, she spun abruptly but didn't growl. I was surprised, she didn't have a spot of blood on her, she hunted better than I had. This shocked me, I had thought I had finesse while hunting, ghosting in, taking my kill, and ghosting away. It was nothing compared the her, when she hunted, she didn't exist. She killed but it was as if she was never there to begin with. I wondered if it had anything to do with what she had endured, but never pressed the issue.

I had forgotten about my state of dress when she slowly made her way to me, but quickly remembered when I realized she was staring at my scars. I couldn't get a straight read on her emotions so I didn't know what to do. I suddenly felt insecure and monstrous, Alice had never been able to look at my scars with anything other than fear, disgust, or pity. I tried to cover myself with what was left of my shirt.

Bella walked over to me, pulling my hands away and opening my shirt, she ran her fingers across the worst of my scars on my shoulders and frowned. "Are you broken too?" She asked, and the sadness she felt caused me to fall to my knees.

"I was once." The words came out of my throat in a strangled whisper as she looked down at me, her hand still in the air from where I had dropped.

She sat down on the ground before me and began unbuttoning her shirt. I watched, frozen and silent. Understanding how monumental this action was for her. She was wearing a tank top underneath it, but it left her shoulders, neck, and her sternum exposed. She dropped her shirt to the ground and I stared. She had scars on her shoulders, where her arms had been crudely torn off, she had a scar at her throat which I had already seen, but along with bite marks that covered her neck, shoulders, and chest, there was a painful looking scar in the place where her heart should be. I filled with so much hatred for myself and my family, not to mention the bitch that had done it.


	6. Dead Little Sister

**A/N: I absolutely adore you guys! And as an early Christmas gift to you, I'm giving you two chapters tonight, and they aren't as short as the last two! ENJOY! I'm working hard to get more chapters done as well. 3

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Bella stared into my eyes then turned her back to me in pain and shame. Her back reflected a lot of the same scars, they just weren't nearly as bad. "I can't stand it when people look at me like that. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Bella. I'm not hurting because I've seen them, I'm hurting because I couldn't stop them."

"No one could have stopped them." She whispered, but she was wrong.

"Come on, let's go home." I held out my hand for hers, she put her shirt back on and quickly did the buttons up before taking my hand and letting me lead her to the house.

She went straight into Peter's arms and he asked her how the hunt was, she told him about the deer she'd caught and laughed when he made a face. My phone buzzed in my pocket, I read the name across the screen and answered.

I couldn't hide my happiness at hearing from my family, "Hello brother!"

"Why do you sound so cheerful?" Emmet's voice was tense.

"I'm just glad to hear from you." I lied, Bella turned to look at me.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing, considering the date."

"The date?" I asked.

"Six years ago today." He reminded me, his voice suddenly angry, "I can't believe you've forgotten! And here, I thought you gave a damn about Bella." I could almost taste his fury with me.

"Emmet," I sighed, trying to come up with something to make him not hate me, Bella wasn't ready to tell the family she was alive, so I couldn't tell him what had caused the date to slip my mind.

Before I could come up with anything, the phone was gone from my hand and it was to Bella's ear. "Hello Emmet." She said, her voice airy, like it meant nothing to her.

"Who is this?" I heard him snap.

"A friend." Bella smiled.

"You're no friend of mine." He growled, "Who the hell are you?"

"Peter calls me Dove." She was giving him nothing, "I just wanted to explain that Jasper has had a lot on his mind lately and hasn't been able to focus much on death."

I was appalled at her words, Peter and Charlotte were as well, we didn't know what the hell she was pulling.

"So he's forgotten all about it because he's shacking up with you?" Emmet was pissed.

"Cool it Emmet, I wouldn't want you to have to eat those words. My patience is growing thin."

"I don't give a damn about your patience or what you want!"

"You wouldn't say that if you only knew." She shook her head. "I'll tell you what, bring all that anger and fury to Tennessee for a visit, see the reason for your brother's distraction."

"If I come there, I'll probably just end up killing you."

At those words Bella laughed, "You can't kill me."

"And why might that be?" Emmet was gnashing his teeth every time he spoke, I could practically feel his rage.

"Because I'm already dead. You owe your brother an apology."

"I don't owe anyone anything."

Bella's face darkened and I felt her rage pick up, it had been her emotions that I thought could be Emmet's, her exterior had remained so calm that I had missed it.

"You owe more than you think! If all that muscle and rage had been in Forks that day this conversation wouldn't even be happening." She had crossed a line.

"Jasper told you? How dare he!"

"Jasper told me only what I needed to know, you had no right to hurt him the way you did or to make him feel guilty for forgetting this day."

"He should, it's his fault." He was beyond rage, so was Bella, the three of us could hear the conversation but were powerless to stop the train wreck about to happen.

"Is it? Because of the birthday thing? It was to be expected, there was no real danger of him killing anyone because the entire family was there to keep it from happening! Afterwards, Edward chose to leave and you all chose to follow him. You are the most arrogant and bull headed in the family, yet you didn't linger behind to save your little sister. Do you have any idea how abandoned, how dead inside that made her feel?"

I realized something, Bella had been resurfacing memories, I hadn't told her that much.

"You have no right-"

Bella cut him off, "Emmet, I have every right, more right than you do actually. So calm the fuck down or I'll take back my invitation."

"So do it, why would I care?" His voice was still tense, but he was trying to control it.

"Are you telling me you don't want to come see your dead little sister?" She was feigning hurt, "So be it then." She tossed the phone to me and I caught it as she went inside.

"B-Bella?" Emmet's voice said to the air as the phone came to me.

"Em, I am so sorry, I don't know what came over her." I tried to explain.

Peter spoke before Emmet could, "She's fiercely protective over those she cares about, Jasper, his words hurt you, you could see it on your face, he pissed her off! He ever does anything like that again and she may not hesitate to hurt him seriously."

"I'm sorry Jazz." Emmet muttered, having heard Peter's words, "Is it her? Or was she just toying with me?"

"Peter and Charlotte saved her awhile back, Victoria still had her. It's been an uphill battle to try and bring her back to herself and she had been hiding the fact that her memories are resurfacing, but it's her."

"And you've been hiding her all this time?" The anger was back.

"It was her choice. She wasn't ready. She's still not ready for everyone to know, so you can't tell the others yet."

"I'm telling Rose and we are heading that way as soon as we can, I gotta stay clear of Edward if I don't want him to know."

"Where is he now?"

"They went to hunt, Rosie is here with me, she has kind of heard everything anyways, she's packing as we speak." His voice lifted a little. "Jazz, how is she?"

"Still quite broken I'm afraid, the torture has continued all this time and didn't end until Peter and Char stepped in. She's uneasy around new people, so don't get upset by it."

"This feels so wrong, not telling the family. I feel like I'm being selfish."

I actually laughed. "Nothing wrong with a little selfishness here and there."

Suddenly it was Rose on the phone, "We'll be there in the morning." The line was disconnected.

Bella POV-

I had gone into the house and planted myself on the back of the sofa, allowing myself to fall backwards and land in the seat on my back, with my legs thrown over the back of the couch. My conversation with Emmet burned in my mind for only a moment, he knew he would see me again if he came, and I knew he cared enough about me to want to see me. He'd made me angry at first, but I used that anger to get what I wanted; some of what I'd lost.

Jasper remained outside for a few minutes more, giving me time to think things over for a bit. When I saw Jasper's scars, it was like nothing could stop me from touching them. My question to him, the only comprehensive sentence I could form aloud. I had to know, and now that I knew, I wanted to know who had broken him, I wanted to come face to face with them. The idea of someone hurting Jasper brought out the worst and most confusing of my emotions. I didn't understand any of them, but I wanted to hurt the ones that hurt him.

Sometimes, Jasper would be in the room with me, and it was as if I could feel a string, tying the two of us together. He would move further away from me, or leave the room, and it was like he pulled the string directly from my chest. I had learned about his power from Peter, he filled in what I couldn't remember, I also realized I could block my emotions from Jasper and confided the information in Peter. He was my confidant, my brother, my angel. I trusted Peter above all else.

I didn't block all of my emotions from Jasper, only the ones I didn't understand and had no name for. I didn't want him to feel them and understand them before I had the chance to sort them out myself. I didn't like the idea of everyone being more informed about me than I was, it didn't seem fair.

My emotions were hectic and frenzied, as though one couldn't fully make an appearance before another tried to shove its way through. I liked hugging him, it made me feel protected and cared for. Holding his hand was like holding onto my life line, I felt like he would take me from one place to the next. Touching his chest, that made my stomach knot up and fill with a frenzy of fluttering. I imagined it was what someone would feel if they swallowed twenty small goldfish that were still able to swim. I didn't know what it meant, but his happiness was more important to me than mine.

I wanted to ask someone about the things I felt, but the only one I could show them to as they were was Jasper, and I shied away from that idea. What if my feelings made him sad? I didn't want to see that.

My thoughts came full circle back to Emmet and Rosalie. I remembered most of my life before the pain, and I was truly coming back into myself. I remembered all the things Rosalie had said to me, and her hatred of me, and I only hoped she didn't hate me anymore. She was a part of a life that was taken from me, and if there was a way I could improve on what I'd had, I wanted to. I needed Emmet and Rosalie to continue to get better, I didn't know why, I only knew that I needed them. I also knew it wouldn't be complete, not until I could have Esme and Carlisle as well.

I took in a breath as I realized, I would never see Charlie again, nor Renee, nor the russet skinned boy who had loved me, I'd since put a name to his face. Jacob, my Jacob. He had promised me that I would never hurt again if I let him love me. He lied, of course, he would have no choice in the matter when he found his imprint. To get past the pain of what I lost, I pretended that everything was okay. Sure, there were some things I didn't really comprehend, but it was never for the reasons the others thought.

They saw me as innocent and child like; unintentionally reverting to the innocence of early life to move past this pain. They didn't realize I did it on purpose, they didn't realize the reasoning behind my not understanding. When Jasper's eyes had gone dark, when Char had explained the emotions that drain our eyes of color, the reason I couldn't understand it was because Jasper didn't want me. Jasper couldn't want me, Victoria had made very sure no one would ever want me again. Jasper had been angry, or he needed to hunt, there was no other option.

I brushed aside the chaotic thoughts dancing around my head, placing themselves out of order and then switching again. I thought of Charlie once more, I was dead to him. He had mourned the loss of his daughter long ago, he had accepted the fact that he would never see her again. I was dead.


	7. The Rabbit

**AN: Hope you guys enjoy the last bit of this Chapter, we get to see a new side to Bella.

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Jasper POV-

I walked into the house to find Bella sitting on the couch upside down, with her legs dangling off the back and her hair puddled in the floor. "When will they be here?" She asked, not looking at me.

"The morning." I whispered, "How did you know they were coming."

"I've remembered almost everything, the best way to get Emmet somewhere is to piss him off and dangle the promise of a fight in front of him."

"True, but now he knows that there will be no fight." I sat next to her, trying not to stare at her legs.

"No, now he knows there is a big candy reward at the other end of the short trip, his dead baby sister."

"Bella, you aren't dead." I corrected.

She blurred as she flipped over, the motion too fast for me to see, "Jasper," She shook her head and started again, "Jasper, most of the time, I feel dead."

"But you can be happy, or angry, your emotions-"

"That's not what I meant. I'm talking about the fact that the whole family thinks I'm dead. I am dead to them and it makes me feel horrible. I miss them all so much, and I want a chance eventually to talk to Edward and make sure he knows it's not his fault."

"But you said."

"I lied. What happened to me was Victoria's fault."

"But we could have stayed, could have prevented it."

"You can prevent a car accident too if you never get behind the wheel. You guys left to keep me from getting killed, so I could live a normal life. You couldn't have been expected to stalk me just to make sure I never got hurt again. Things happen, that's part of the whole life thing." She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Peter told me about Edward and Alice, I asked him. How long have they been married?"

"A few years." I was astounded by her words, I wasn't used to the woman that could clearly think things through.

"I'm glad they could find comfort in each other. But that leaves you out." She took my hand, astounding me further.

"What about you? You are left without a mate as well."

"I haven't spent a century married to someone either. I'm okay being alone." Her shoulders lifted and fell. "I should get used to an eternity alone anyhow, not like anyone can take me and my scars too."

I winced as I realized she was speaking the truth for me as well, though I could take her and her scars and love her anyways, I said nothing. She wasn't ready yet, besides, I was saving myself from hearing the rejection in her voice.

She went upstairs to retrieve a book before coming back down and settling on the couch. She leaned against my shoulder and began reading, her hair cascaded down my still bare chest that I had forgotten completely. The feel of her silk waves against my skin was agony at the same time as being heavenly because it made me painfully aware that she wasn't mine. Charlotte came through the room and took in the sight before going upstairs to her own room, she came down with a plush rabbit with long floppy ears, she handed the stuffed animal to Bella. It had been something I saw in her room, sitting on the couch with her anytime I found her reading. It was something I hadn't seen in the house before they got there.

"Bella, may I ask why you are snuggling with that stuffed animal?"

"It makes me feel better." She shrugged. "Peter got it for me when I wouldn't come out of my room."

I smiled at the love in her voice when she said Peter's name, "Have you named it?"

She looked away from her book to stare at the rabbit, "No, it doesn't need a name to know that someone loves it."

"Are you talking about yourself or the rabbit?" I teased.

"Both. Charlotte and Peter loved me when I didn't have a name or a past, even though things could go wrong because of my mental state. Something tells me I could have killed them both and they would still love me."

"It's called unconditional love, and you're right." Peter laughed, walking into the room. "I would die at your hand with a smile on my face."

She stood and went into his arms again, then he sat down and she joined him by plopping down on his lap. "Peter is my angel."

I tried to ignore the black hole that felt as if it opened up beside me, in the place she had vacated. I also tried to ignore the bitter jealousy I felt toward Peter. "We're going to have guests in the morning." Bella smiled.

"I heard. Why don't you and Char go see if there is something nice you can do to make them feel welcome."

She tugged Char outside and there it was, in the way she had responded, sometimes she was like a child.

"It's a defense mechanism. It's slowly fading, but it's still there on occasion."

"A defense mechanism against what?"

"The death of those she cares about." He shook his head. He looked at me and took in my state of dress, "What happened to your insecurities?"

"I had forgotten I wasn't wearing one after hunting. She made me forget all about it."

"Brother, I have to say, I'm very proud of you." His eyes were suddenly fierce, I could feel his pride.

"Proud of me for what?" I was surprised.

"I see how you look at her, I know how badly you want her and how difficult it is to control that. But there is also something else I've seen that tells me why you haven't given in."

"And that would be?"

"You are completely in love with her." He raised an eyebrow as if he knew more than he was telling.

I sat forward and put my face in my hands, "I am. I'm sunk, I can't help it."

He laughed, "There is also something else you should be made aware of, it's concerning Bella's gift."

I stared at him in confusion, not needing to voice my question.

"She told me about the mind reader not being able to get in her head. She also confided something in me a few days ago that surprised me. She can keep you out too."

"What do you mean?"

"She lets you feel her emotions, but only what she wants you to know. She has been keeping others from you."

"What has she been keeping from me?" I nearly growled.

"She didn't tell me, I have no way of knowing."

I fretted and thought over the possibilities while we waited for Char and Bella to return to the house. Was she hiding hatred, disgust, pity? What would be so bad that she felt the need to hide it from me? I wouldn't be able to ask her, because it would be a violation of her trust. At some point, I had picked up the stuffed rabbit and clutched it to me, inhaling the scent of Bella from the fabric. Peter eyed me, clearly amused at seeing the Major cuddled up to a stuffed bunny and acting like a girl, but I couldn't find it in myself to be angry with him.

The front door flew open and there was a blur as Bella's scent filled the room. Char came in behind her and kicked the door closed. She looked very unhappy as she stood there with one of her shoes dangling from her finger and the other missing. I felt mischief from the other room, but left it alone.

"What happened?" I asked.

"We were after flowers and started playing tag. I was winning and the little thief took my shoe!"

Three voices broke into laughter and Bella sauntered back into the room with the other shoe dangling in front of her, taunting Char, "I never will understand the love a woman can have for her shoes. You two should have seen the look on her-" She stopped when she looked at me, then tossed Char's shoe back to her, giving up her little game.

"So, Jasper," She plopped down on the couch next to me, "Is there something you'd like to tell the rest of us?"

"Huh?" I asked.

She looked pointedly at the rabbit still clutched to me and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." I smiled, "I've decided to marry your bunny to save myself from a life of loneliness. She agreed."

She smiled a brilliant smile in return and stole the stuffed animal back from me. Peter and Charlotte went up to their room for some privacy and after a few minutes of nothing, I was hit in the face with the rabbit.

"What was that for?" I asked.

She shrugged, "It seemed like the thing to do. How long until the others get here?"

It was my turn to shrug. It was five in the morning and they could be arriving at any time. I put my head back to stare at the ceiling for a moment before getting up to go and change clothes, not to mention putting a shirt back on.


	8. Author

**Okay, I just wanted to touch base with you guys for a moment. There are some questions that I want to answer.**

**First off, Jasper sits with me when I write, and he never has a shirt on ;)Secondly, I wanted to talk a bit about forgiveness. Bella says that she doesn't blame Edward or Alice for the things that have happened to her, she says she knows it wasn't Edward's fault. That may not be true when she comes face to face with the boy that left her broken, only to have someone break her further. Edward has a way of putting his foot in his mouth when it comes to Bella, their confrontation will happen and it isn't going to be hugs and puppies! You can say you forgive someone until you are blue in the face, but you don't really know until they are standing right there before your eyes.I also want to go on record to say that Bella has moved a little more quickly in the recovery process than any normal human would. Eight years of torture for a human would equal years of therapy and only those with the strongest minds would be able to move forward. But these are vampires, with the capability of holding multiple lines of thought at once. While the pain will never really go away, Bella is able to make positive progress by focusing on all of the good things she has left. We'll touch base more with Dove, it's a process, and I'm trying to lay things out as well as I can. Thank you all so much for bearing with me. I hope this answers some questions for you. Love!**


	9. Rosalie

**A/N: Okay, so I got up to answer my door today and found Jasper and Emmet outside with bats. Long story short, they told me I better update, here you are Lovies.

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A few minutes after I returned downstairs from changing clothes, the doorbell rang. Bella was feeling brave so she stood to answer the door. As it swung open, there was a choke and then a broken sob as Rosalie threw her arms around Bella's still frame.

"Bella, I am so sorry for how horrible I was to you! After everything you've been through, I am so horribly sorry! Is there any way you'll ever forgive me?" Her face was buried in Bella's neck and Bella could do nothing more than wrap her arms around Rose and stroke her hair gently.

"There is nothing to forgive Rosalie, I can't really remember it all anyways, so we get to start again with a clean slate." But I felt shock coming from Bella.

Rose looked up, her eyes looking magnified by the venom, her bottom lip trembling only slightly, "You mean it?"

Bella's bottom lip was sucked into her mouth, she nodded once and they both sort of burst into sobs again. Bella crying for everything she had lost and hoped to someday regain, and Rose emptying herself of the guilt and anguish she felt over Bella's suffering. Emmet stood in the doorway and watched them with a mix of awe and sadness, he had never seen his wife come so undone.

The sobs quieted by the time Peter and Char made their way back down the stairs. Rosalie suddenly pulled back and looked at Bella again, "Wow, Bella, you are beautiful!"

And then the room was filled with shocked laughter. Emmet and I helped the girls off the floor and Bella finally turned to Emmet, he smiled sheepishly at her, but then he frowned. "Isabella, what you said to me on the phone was mean and uncalled for." He pulled his face into an overly dramatic pout, perfectly executing the puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry." Bella frowned, but then she started beaming and threw herself at him. She kissed him on the cheek and he squeezed her and sighed in relief before setting her down.

"I'm just so happy to see you, I could never stay mad anyways." He beamed.

"Come in, have a seat." Peter smirked, "Unless you wanna go catch your dinner first."

"We stopped to hunt on the way from the airport." Rose nodded, going to sit on the couch and pulling Bella to sit between herself and Emmet. Bella allowed it, she allowed Rosalie to fawn over her, but there was a distant pain in her eyes, a longing for something. Her emotions remained happiness, I realized Peter was right, Bella was using her emotions to lie to me.

I bit back my vicious jealousy and let the three of them reconnect. I settled for catching up with the others while Rosalie stroked Bella's hair.

"How are things at home?"

"Still no good. Alice and Edward are still hurting so badly." Rose hung her head.

"Bella, you gonna let us tell them soon?" Emmet asked.

For a moment, her eyes locked with mine, but immediately they fell to the floor, "No. Esme and Carlisle cannot know because there would be no way Edward wouldn't find out. Nor Alice, because she can only keep him out for so long. He needs to learn to live with his mistakes, at least for a while." Her voice was tense, there was more she wasn't saying.

It was there, a weighted decision that Bella had made with no help from anyone else. She would do that, say something or do something that made me almost believe she was better, but then the illusion would be broken when she became easily distracted again or didn't understand something that she should have. Or when her eyes slipped and showed her true emotions.

"Edward never meant to hurt you." Emmet said quietly.

"I know." Bella whispered, not offering further explanation. "It's truly wonderful to see the two of you, but it's all so much. Excuse me." She stood and left without another word.

Rose watched her go, and waited for the door to close to Bella's room before turning back to me. "How bad is she Jazz?"

"Sometimes, she's not at all. But others, she's like a child, and I don't mean that disrespectfully. It's as if she reverts back into childlike innocence to get past what she really feels. Other than that I don't know, she doesn't let me feel her emotions."

"She can block you, too?" Emmet gasped.

"She seems to be a very strong shield indeed. I only feel what she wants me to feel."

"Jazz?" Rose sighed, causing me to look at her, "We'll get her through this. It will stay with her forever, what happened, but it doesn't mean she can't have a healthy life ahead of her. She's strong, and now, she has something she didn't have when she was human."

"And that is?"

Rose smiled sadly and met my gaze, determination rising up from her in a wave, "Me." There was a bitter taste of regret lurking behind her positive emotions, but I didn't comment on it.

"So, what was it like to see her the first time?" Emmet asked happily, brushing off all of his negativity. "What was she like?"

I actually laughed, "Mad as hell. I was stupid and didn't use caution as Peter asked. She would have taken my head off."

"I doubt that." Emmet chuckled.

"No, Emmet, our little Bella isn't so helpless anymore. She fought off three old ones at once, destroyed the three of them with only a bite to the thigh to show for it. I'm not sure I could hold my own with her. Hell, I'm not sure you could."

"Bull shit, no one can take me." He scoffed.

Peter just eyed him, "You want to test that theory? Be my guest, go piss Dove off and lose an arm. She's more in touch with her inner monster than any of us. She knows how to use it to her advantage."

I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't like the way he worded his response. Perhaps though, I was letting my vision become clouded by the girl when she was sweet and innocent, instead of angry and full of rage.

Bella POV-

I flopped back onto my couch, trying to keep my arms and legs in check, they wanted to run back down the stairs and steal Jasper's cell phone to call Esme. Esme would understand all of the emotions I had inside me, she would understand my need to pretend for the others, and seeing her would truly make me happy. But then there was Edward, I hadn't meant what I said about him needing to learn to live with his mistakes. I just wasn't ready to see him, I needed more time to understand what I felt for Jasper, and I didn't want him coming and mucking up the already shaky clarity I possessed. I was being selfish and I didn't care.

Besides, what if he and Alice weren't together anymore and Alice wanted to take Jasper away from me? He was my best friend, I couldn't lose him now, I needed him! And in some strange way, I felt that maybe, just maybe, he needed me too. I rolled onto my stomach and covered my face, my chest heaving as it had on the floor with Rosalie. Just the thought of losing Jasper was like having a hole punched through my middle.

I wanted him to hold me, to tell me everything was okay, my horrid past was just some cruel nightmare and I was still human. I sat up, suddenly, no, I didn't want that. Things would be far too different. I wouldn't have had Peter or Charlotte, and I wouldn't truly have Jasper, and Rosalie would still hate me. Her sudden change of heart scared me a little, I kept expecting her to try and behead me, but the look on Emmet's face said it all. He had never seen her that way, Rosalie had connected to me in a new way.

There was a light knock on my door and I sat up. "Come in." I said quietly.

"Hey Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Rosalie came in and sat next to me on my couch.

"What do you need Rosalie?"

"Honey, family calls me Rose."

"What do you need, Rose?" I smiled, but it felt wrong on my face.

"Can I tell you a story? It isn't a happy one, but you need to hear it."

"Sure." I folded my hands in my lap and waited.

"I was so envious of you when you were human, Bella, did you know that?"

"I thought you just hated me."

Her answering smile was sad and she looked down at the floor, "You and I, we had very different human lives. When I was human, my life was perfect in a different way than yours was. I was beautiful, everyone would stop and stare when I walked down the street. Looking back, sometimes, I wish I wasn't beautiful. Beauty causes problems, it stirs up trouble. I'm going to cut out a few parts, so I can get to what I really need to say, but I want you to know how I died." She took my hand in hers and squeezed, "My fiancé and three of his friends raped me, they beat me, did horrendous things to me, and left me for dead. Carlisle found me, he changed me, and I've been angry with him ever since."

My heart filled with dread, she was going to bring up Victoria. I didn't want to listen anymore, but I knew I needed to, and somehow knowing what had happened to her made me feel as if it would be alright.

"The thing is Bella, I was raped, beaten, then changed. You were changed, then raped and tortured. My injuries went away with the change, yours happened too late." She pulled me to her and I continued to suffer the conversation in silence. "The thing no one understands though, is that it doesn't matter if you bear the scars or not, it still remains with you always. I have let it turn me into a bitter harpy that often yells and shows how much she hates her life. Bella, I don't want that for you, I want you to find true happiness. What happened to you, it is horrible, it's painful, but there is one thing I don't think you know."

"What is that, Rose?" I asked around the lump forming in my throat.

"Honey, the thing you don't know is that it's in the past. It is behind you and not giving chase. You won't ever have to suffer anything like that again. One day, maybe real soon, you'll find your soul mate, and he will love you like no other could, he'll keep the memories of pain away. He'll protect you from yourself, and from anyone who means you harm. Hell, you already have an entire family behind you. We would never let you get hurt again, no one will let you suffer that hell again, Bella. I swear it to you, just please don't turn into me." Her sobs were uneven as she buried her face in my hair once more.

I was actually smiling, truly smiling. I pulled Rosalie over to lay her head on my lap and stroked her hair while she sobbed, using the opportunity to tell her something she had missed herself.

"Rosalie, Rose, I bear the scars of hell. I keep the pain inside, and I pretend for the others that I'm whole. What no one truly sees, because I haven't showed them, is that the pain isn't because of what Victoria did to me, it's not because of what her pets did to me, it's because of everything I've lost. The things that will take time for me to regain, and the things I'll never have again. What happened to you was horrendous, to say the least, and yes, your anger is a force to be reckoned with," I paused and she let out a soft giggle, "but I've seen how you are with Emmet. He is your everything, you would gladly die for him. I've seen the way you protect your family, you love them and support them in their decisions even if they aren't what you agree with. What you don't realize is that you don't hate your life, you don't hate your existence now."

"What do you mean?" She sniffed.

"You love your life, you are beautiful, ultimate perfection. You have the perfect man, the only one you will ever love as much as you do love him. This life isn't what you have the issue with, your issue is how you came to be what you are. You hate the pain that you had to feel in order to reach the life you have. I know that you feel as though things are missing, things you could only have if you were human. But would you want them if you could have it, but the family you love and the mate you've been with for so long had to leave you?"

She sat up and focused a sobered gaze on me, "There was a time when I might have said yes to that question."

"And now?"

"I was spending so much time focusing on what I didn't, what I couldn't have. I never once focused on the things I do have and that I could never in a million years give up. Wow, I thought you were all child-like and damaged." She laughed a little, "Bella, I'm supposed to be here to help you, not the other way around."

"I remember everything from when I was human. It came slowly at first, but soon it was like a flood gate opened and I knew it all. I was focusing on the things that had happened to me at first, but then a particular memory came to me. My grandmother sat me on her knee when I was little and she told me something that kind of stuck." I took a breath, "Bad things happen, bad things will continue to happen, but be grateful for those bad things. Without the bad, no one would recognize, or comprehend the good. She used to tell me that for every bad thing there is an equally good thing to come."

"Mine was Emmet, Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper." Rosalie gasped, "They have been my strength all the time I've known them."

"I'm glad you see that." I nodded, then I sighed heavily, "I miss Esme and Carlisle."

"They miss you too Bella, believe me, they do." She pulled me from the couch and into her arms. "I don't get it though, how do you have all of this insight. The others are so worried about you, they were talking about your anger and how you can't really keep it under control that well. You seem to understand everything, but your emotions are hectic."

"Tell me about it, the only thing I am not understanding about my existence is the emotion that comes with it. I don't understand them at all, and they come on so quickly that I have no choice but to yield to them."

"What about the child like behavior?"

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked, knowing full and well that she was to be trusted. She nodded so I told her, "I don't know how to pretend to be happy without acting like a child. I remember pain from when I was human, I remember how I acted when I was trying to be okay for everyone else, but I can't just go through the motions here, they know too much, they see too much. Many times, I AM happy, and I am so completely filled with it that I am child-like in a way. But other times, I have to force it."

"What about not understanding certain things?"

"It's not that I don't understand the meaning of things, I just don't understand how it applies to me." I shrugged.

"Oh?" Rosalie whispered, then she said it again as if she understood, "OH!"

"Come on, let's go back down to join the others. I'm sure they are wondering what we are doing up here." I smiled, taking her hand and walking down the stairs.

The others were still in the front room, they all brightened when we walked in. Rosalie pulled me back down between Emmet and herself and started playing with my hair again. I relaxed and smiled, surrounded by family members who would keep me safe.


	10. A Choice

**A/N: Here is the next installment TFA. 3 HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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"Are you feeling better?" Jasper asked, true concern showing behind his eyes.

I nodded, "Rose came and helped me feel better."

Rose snorted in surprise beside me, but said nothing. I wasn't ready to shatter the illusion that I was innocence personified, not just yet. I would tell them, but I needed time to sort through my emotions first. Truth be told I was still a mess, I didn't want them to see that.

"You okay, Rosie?" Emmet asked, referring to the startled noise she'd made.

She smiled a brilliant smile, perfectly at ease, "I'm fine."

We sank into idle conversation for the next few hours, Emmet and Rose filled most of the silence, updating everyone on the goings on at home. I was comfortable, happy, and for a little while, completely whole.

Some obnoxious song began playing from Emmet's pocket and he pulled out his phone. "Hi Esme!" He greeted cheerfully.

My fingers itched to grab the phone, to pour my heart out to the closest thing to a mother I had. I hadn't wanted anything more since Peter and Charlotte had found me. In that moment, I was the child everyone thought I was, but I was the child who wanted her mom. I could hear her side of the conversation, I could hear her voice, and it made me want to see her more.

"Hello dear, I was wondering what was going on. The two of you took off without saying anything and left a note to let me know where you were. Was there a problem with your phone?"

"No." Emmet said simply.

"Then you could have called. I've been worried sick! What was the sudden emergency? Do the two of you need our help?"

"No, mom, everything is great. We just needed to get away for a bit, you know us." His voice was too nervous, I could practically taste his lie.

"Emmet, what aren't you telling me?" Esme's voice had an edge to it, my eyes widened and I shook my head no, he couldn't tell her.

"It's nothing, I promise. We were just worried about Jazz, he's been so down lately, so we came to visit him. I just didn't want Edward to show up and make him feel worse."

My head whipped around to Jasper, why would Edward make him feel bad? Jasper had done nothing wrong! I felt my eyes narrow as I turned back to watch Emmet.

"I've been worried about him too, he hasn't called. I figured it was because of the date. We are all still hurting so badly, it feels like only yesterday that I was helping Alice decorate for Bella's birthday." There was so much agony in her voice, I wanted it to go away and a small sound escaped my throat.

Suddenly Peter was kneeling before me, his crimson eyes holding my gold ones captive, his hands holding my face. "It's not time yet." He whispered, "If you rush it, it will end badly."

I couldn't focus, it was something about Peter, he could make me focus on him no matter what was going on. I knew it was because he and Char saved me, because both of them could pull me into this place in my head, where nothing else existed but their voice, nothing mattered but their eyes. The only times they couldn't reach me were when I was too far gone.

I fell to my knees before him, burying my face in his neck and sobbing to my heart's content. I wanted the mother I would never see again, I wanted the mother I would see soon enough! I wanted the things I had lost, I wanted them so badly I could taste them. I had never wanted time to move more quickly.

Emmet said goodbye to Esme, and after that, he didn't talk to her in front of me. I was grateful at the same time as being angry about it. I wanted to hear her voice, even if I couldn't speak with her directly yet. Rose and Emmet had been visiting for two weeks, and surrounded by so many people that loved me made it difficult to hurt because of my past. They kept me constantly busy, doing something and not really giving me time to dwell on it. I knew they did it on purpose, they didn't want me focusing on painful memories. Each of them wanted me to see the good in life.

Rosalie was the most determined, it was as though her entire personality changed. She was nicer, and she was really happy. I found Emmet watching her with this gob smacked expression on his face, mouth hanging open and everything, he had never seen his mate so loving, and he was praying that it lasted. I knew it would, and they had a brighter future ahead. Rose thanked me at least one hundred times, I didn't understand it, I had only talked to her, she'd done all the heavy lifting. We became very close, and I decided to confide in her a bit.

We went for a run and stopped by a small lake some distance away. She sat down and stared out over the water, I sat next to her and did the same.

"It's beautiful out here." She sighed happily.

"It is." I smiled, "Rose, could I talk to you about something?"

"Anything."

I fidgeted, lacing my fingers together and unlacing them, a nervous habit. "Well, I told you before that I can't really get my emotions straight, that they are all so hectic."

"I remember." She turned to look at my hands, "Bella, honey, what's wrong?"

"I wanted to ask you what some of the things I felt."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I'm terrified of Jasper." The words were out, I would never be able to take them back now.

Her face scrunched a bit in concern, "Bella, Jasper would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, don't you?"

Her words startled me, she'd misunderstood. "I know that. I don't mean terrified of him in that sense. I'm terrified I'll lose him. I've got all these feelings toward him that I don't understand and I'm scared to death that it will make him run away. I'm afraid he'll think I wasn't strong enough, good enough." "Bella, how do you feel about Jasper?"

"He's my best friend, I would walk through fire for him with a smile. But then there are the emotions I don't understand. I hide them from him because I want to know what they are first. I thought it might be love, but it isn't as deranged as it was when I was human, when I was in love with Edward, it hurt."

"Bella, love doesn't hurt. Being in love is where you find someone who sees you for who you are, and you see them, and you want them still. Some things change, you may be more protective, but you don't go through a complete and irreversible alteration as you did with Edward. That was unhealthy Bella. It wouldn't be that way with Jasper."

"Are you saying I'm in love with Jasper? That's what this feeling is?"

Somewhere in the distance, a twig snapped, just an animal scurrying in the distance. My head whipped around though, I had thought I heard a sharp intake of breath. When I turned my gaze back to Rose, she had been staring in the same direction I was, she had heard something too.

"Let's get home, Bella, I don't like the vibe I'm getting out here." She was suddenly anxious, afraid. She took my hand and we ran back to the house, the exhilaration of running making us forget what we thought we heard. We went back into the house and joined the others in playing games and watching movies.

Jasper POV-

Watching Bella interact with Rosalie and Emmet was amazing to say the least. It was as if each person that came into her life helped her jump another hurdle. We kept her moving, kept her busy, and it wasn't because we were trying to keep her mind off of things, that was just an added bonus. No, we did it because we all wanted her time, so we had to share, we had to divide our time with her. Rosalie and Char got the most time with her alone, I deemed this unfair, but they used "girl time" as an excuse. They took her shopping and her closet was nearly bursting with clothes and shoes, they were gracious enough to stick to Bella's taste, unlike a certain pixie who would force everyone into clothes they didn't want until they put their foot down.

She was making so much progress that I couldn't deny the women, I couldn't even deny Emmet. I was so very grateful to each of them, with out them, Bella would not have survived the torment of her past. While I couldn't deny the others, I selfishly tried my best to monopolize as much of her time as I could. Emmet and I would often wrestle for the chance to hang out with her, she had developed a certain taste for his video games. He had never had someone to play with that enjoyed the games as much as he did. She hunted with me most of the time, but she did start going with Rosalie when Emmet didn't need to hunt. I knew that Bella counted the two of them among the people she would kill for, the people she would die for.

Emmet and I often hunted together, and he always used the time to grill me about Bella. I didn't give him anything, I couldn't. I didn't want it getting back to her, I didn't want to feel her disgust or rejection.

"You're an idiot!" He growled as he grappled with a large bear.

"Me or the bear?" I called from the branch I was standing on.

"You!" He turned his attention to me for half a second before shoving the bear backwards a bit, "You think it isn't obvious that you're crazy about her? I know these things man!"

"Oh, please! You don't know my emotions any better than you know the back of your head." I rolled my eyes.

"I see the way you watch her when she isn't looking, I see what happens when you have a thought that you deem inappropriate. It hurts you that you want her."

"She's been through too much, she doesn't need that." I sighed.

"That mean you're finally admitting it?"

I threw my hands in the air in frustration. "Fine, yes! Okay?"

"What you don't realize though, is that your thoughts and feelings aren't wrong. You haven't forced yourself on her and you won't in the future. You feel so strongly for her, yet you are letting her decide, waiting for her to show you that she is ready."

"So, it's not like I'm doing something so grand for her, my thoughts disturb me, Em. I can't help them even though I know what she's been through."

"Jasper, bro, you are giving her the one thing Edward never did." I growled when he said that name, I didn't want to hear it.

"And what might that be?"

"A choice." He downed and drained the bear, when he was finished, he stood as if nothing happened. "He used his gift and vampire abilities to dazzle her. She was never really in love with him, originally, she was fascinated, but nothing more. He took her breath away, he dazzled her, and you know as well as I do that if you do that continuously to a human, they become addicted. It's like a drug to them. She never loved him, she was obsessed with him and you know it. You told me yourself while she was still human."

I sighed, it was true that her emotions for Edward were not those of love. They were an unhealthy obsession, a need, like a heroine addict needing a fix. Edward had taken her choices from her without a conscious decision to do so. She had even gone through withdrawal when we left her, it was all his fault. Her scent drew him in, her silent mind gave him peace while he had company, he used her, he didn't really love her as a future mate. It was the reason he had not wanted to change her, and while he blamed me for her birthday, it wasn't the whole reason we left Forks.


	11. Edward

**A/N: Here is your gift, a second Chapter tonight. And not a short one, lol. LOVE TO ALL, I hope everyone has fantastic holidays filled with goodies and good times.

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Emmet and Rose had been with us a little over two weeks, I honestly never wanted them to leave. If only I could get everyone else but Edward there, it would have been fantastic. Emmet and I started running toward the house, while I ran I thought. Edward was the reason that Bella was so broken. I knew she would have to face him eventually, but now wasn't the time, and I wasn't entirely sure he was welcome in my house.

"I'm hurt to know you feel that way, brother." I stopped in my tracks, the house was behind him. He continued without a prompt, "I thought I could trust you, she's alive, she's alive and you didn't tell me."

"It was her choice, Edward, not mine. I don't take her choices away." I snapped.

"Bull! You didn't tell me that she was alive because you have been so busy lusting after her! You didn't want me around because you're a selfish prick!"

"That's not true and you know it! We were waiting for Bella to be ready!" Emmet growled.

"You stay out of this, out of everyone I trusted you the most, my entire family has betrayed me. Think of what your betrayal will do to Carlisle and Esme!" He growled, putting Emmet in his place, then he turned back to me, "And you! You are the most disgusting monster on the face of the earth. Lusting after a woman who was brutally tortured and raped! Her virginity, her innocence was taken by those men, that is the only touch she has ever known! How could you do that to her!"

"I'm not forcing myself on her Edward, I'm giving her the chance to choose, unlike you did."

"I GAVE HER THE CHOICE!" He roared, surely they would have heard him at the house.

"No you didn't, you gave her the illusion of a choice."

"Regardless, I'm not panting after her like some filthy dog after what she's been through. Do you have any idea the pain that would cause her, she trusts you! I can't for the life of me figure out why she would, not after her birthday!" He'd pushed the right button to bring me to my knees and fill me with agony, the thought of what I'd nearly done was something I would regret every day of my existence. "It would shatter that trust if she knew what your thoughts truly were! She's an innocent Jasper, she is too good for you! She is better than you will ev-" He cut off abruptly and someone slammed into him.

She rolled off of him in a graceful manner, as if she hadn't touched him and he had fallen of his own accord. "Shut the hell up!" The venom in her voice spoke measures, and though I couldn't feel her emotions, I could hear them in her voice and see them in her eyes. "You will not speak to him that way, you will never speak to him that way!"

"Bella, it's so wonderful to see you, love! When Alice told me of her vision of you, I hadn't believed her, then she came to investigate and told me that she saw you with her very own eyes, talking to Rosalie. You've been kept from the rest of your family for far too long."

"Enough." She growled, "Save your pleasantries. You have no right to be here, I don't recall you being invited."

"I wasn't."

"Then do the intelligent thing for once in your life and leave."

"Leaving is never the intelligent thing to do."

She lunged at him, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him across the little clearing, knocking down a tree in the process. "I gave you the chance to leave. Too late now!" She went to lunge for him again, her eyes completely drained of the gold, there was a fierce determination in her eyes, if she wasn't stopped, her trembling hands would rip his head off. She would kill him. Edward deserved a lot of things, but Alice didn't deserve to lose her true mate, it would kill her.

Peter entered the clearing then, "DOVE! ENOUGH!" He bellowed.

Her head twitched in his direction, but she continued on her path and jerked Edward up by his hair, launching him across the clearing again. It was the first time I had ever seen her disregard Peter in such a manner. Before she had the chance to grab Edward and just finish the job, instead of toying with him, Peter leapt at her, bringing her to the ground and pinning her there. Before he could get a good hold on her though, she had flipped around and grabbed his wrist, yanking hard and bringing his arm with it, effectively ripping it off and throwing it across the clearing.

"FUCK!" Peter shouted in pain. He couldn't hold her down with one arm. "Jasper, get your ass over here!" He growled.

I didn't have to be told twice, I pulled him off of her and pinned her myself, using everything I had in me to send her a wave of calm. I felt it bounce back from her and struggled with her for a moment before I could finally pin her legs down with mine and her wrists down with my hands. She was still fighting me and I was beginning to lose my grip.

"Distract her! Get her to calm down!"

"I tried the calm, it didn't touch her!" I yelled, Bella growled directly in my face, trying to get at me with her teeth.

"DISTRACT HER THEN!" Peter snapped. He was sitting on the edge of the clearing, trying to fuse his arm back together.

"How?" I cried out.

"Kiss her you idiot!" Rosalie shouted, coming to help Char help Peter.

Before I could allow myself to stop, my mouth crashed down on Bella's. At first, she rejected the attempt and bit my lip, I would forever have a mark on my bottom lip because of it. Then suddenly, she was kissing me back. She fought off my hands and I let her, being distracted myself, but she didn't throw me off, she just tangled her fingers into my hair and pulled me closer. She was still letting her instincts rule her and was beginning to get carried away.

"Dove." Peter called.

She growled into my mouth and I was putty in her hands, more so than I had been before.

"Isabella Marie Swan! GET OFF MY BROTHER!" Charlotte growled.

Her mouth was suddenly gone from mine and she was letting me feel her shock but nothing else. I pulled myself off of her and held out a hand to help her up, but she was looking around the clearing in confusion. Her eyes landed on Peter and a soft cry escaped her throat, she crawled to him on all fours. When she got to him, she threw her arms around his neck and started sobbing.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me!"

He just held her to his chest, rocking her and making quiet, soothing sounds in her ear. "Remember, with a smile on my face. I'm not angry, Dove."

Peter was still rocking Bella when Edward sat up and looked around, his eyes focused on Bella and his shock and regret hit me from across the space. Bella suddenly went rigid and turned to face him, it was as if she was just remembering he was there.

"Bella, it isn't right that you've been kept away from the others, away from me." His eyes were determined, his words were stupid.

Bella's eyes darkened noticeably and then she narrowed them into slits before hissing. She shook her head, shaking away her anger from the look of it. Then she spoke, her voice shaking, "They were not keeping me away, I was keeping me away! They've been practically begging me to tell Carlisle and Esme and I refused! Do you know why I refused, Edward?" She waited for him to shake his head before continuing. "I refused because I didn't want you to find out, I had no desire to see you! You are the reason for all of it! The reason I'm dead, the reason I'll never see my parents, the reason Jacob is now my mortal enemy, not to mention the things that Victoria did to me. You abandoned me without a second glance, but you forgot about your loose ends that were left behind. If you had taken care of them, I'd probably be married, with children by now!" Her hands were in fists at her sides and her body began trembling violently.

"Bella?" I questioned quietly, her hiss was all I needed to clamp my mouth shut.

She was still trembling when she stood and walked over to him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him up so his face was just inches away from hers. "You ruined everything that was good in me. The sweet little child you grew obsessed with, the girl you told what to do and what to say, while Alice told me what to wear. I was just your toy, your puppet! Now, I'm a monster, I ripped my brother's arm off and it is entirely your fault! Stay out of my life, Edward." The last words were said in an eerily calm voice, and Bella dropped him to the grass again and headed back for the house.

Without hanging back to make sure Edward left, I followed her. She was sitting on the couch, sobbing to her heart's content, but her tears wouldn't fall and I could feel her frustration. She looked up at me, "Call Esme." She said quietly.

I did as she asked and sat down beside her, "Hello?" Esme answered on the first ring, sounding slightly concerned.

"Hello Esme, how have you been?"

"I'm alright. I was actually just about to call you. Alice said to warn you that Edward was on his way."

"It's a little late for that, we have had the pleasure of running into each other on my way back from a hunt."

"That's nice dear, is everything alright?"

"Well, I'm not so sure actually, you see, there is something I need, but I'm not sure what it is just yet." I watched Bella as she watched me, waiting. She grew impatient and snatched the phone from my hand.

"Esme." She whispered.

"Who is this?"

"Esme, I need to see you, I need to see both of you! Edward came here without being asked. He accused Jasper of being a monster, he made me hurt Peter! Rose and Emmet are here, but they couldn't even get him to leave me alone. He accused the others of keeping me from you, of not telling you I was alive, but I didn't want him to know, I didn't want to see him. That was why I wouldn't let them tell you."

"Bella? Bella honey, is that you?"

"Yes, can you come?"

"We'll be there as soon as we can." Her voice broke into sobs as she hung up the phone and I was certain I'd heard her shout for Carlisle.

Bella hung up the phone and handed it back to me, "I've been dying to talk to her since the first time I heard her voice on the other end of Emmet's phone. Just being able to talk directly to her made me feel ten feet tall."

"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching out and laying my hand on hers.

"I couldn't stand to hear all the things he said to you. I would have happily ripped him apart, and anyone who got in my way." The determination returned to her eyes.

"I noticed." I nodded, "But Bella, it would have killed Alice to lose her true mate."

"I wasn't thinking very clearly." She shook some of her thoughts away and then her eyes bored into mine, "Jasper, why didn't she save me? Why didn't she see Victoria grab me?"

"The wolves. Alice cannot see them, nor can she see anyone who has thrown their future in with them."

Bella's eyes grew distant and she looked out the door, "His birthday is soon. He'll be in his twenties now."

"I know you miss him, but Bella, you wouldn't be able to stand the smell of him. Besides, the two of you would likely argue and one would wind up killing the other before a modicum of control could be returned." I had to be honest with her, I owed her that much after the things I'd thought, the things I'd imagined about her.

"I just wish I could tell him I'm okay. He probably thinks I'm dead though." She sighed, "Maybe that's better though."

"Why do you do that?" I growled, suddenly frustrated.

"What do you mean?"

"You go too quickly from subject to subject with me, you don't talk about any one thing for too long before you move on! Why are you so afraid to talk to me about Alice or Edward? Even your werewolf friend, you just skip around and let me see nothing."

"It's nothing, I can't help it."

"That's a lie. I know you talk about things with Rose and Peter, hell, even with Emmet, you talk to everyone BUT me! Why won't you let me have the same kind of connection with you that they do?"

Her gaze leveled with mine as she spoke the words that shattered my heart, "We'll never be connected in that way. It's impossible now, especially after what you did in the clearing to bring me back. I'm sorry Jasper, it just won't be that way for me."

I felt myself shut down my emotions and slip into a calm mask. "You aren't as sorry about it as I am, Sugar." I frowned, getting up and walking up to my room.

I threw myself down on the floor, not even trying to hit the bed. I just threw my arm over my face and lay there, nothing mattered, nothing reached me. She'd confirmed it, she didn't want me, she had made her decision.


	12. Author's Note 2

**A/N: Just to answer a question I got that others might have. This story is based in Tennessee, no specific town in mind, but not far from Knoxville and maybe are Sevierville. I used to drive down to that area once a month and I swear it is beautiful and there are so many mountains, lol. Hope that cleared that up. I'll try to post more soon!**


	13. Playing Games

**KK, Guys, I know it's been awhile. I just ask that you keep in mind that the holidays are CRAZY and that I have two brats to keep me on my toes. Enjoy

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Bella POV-

For some reason, I felt as if my words had hit Jasper wrong. It was as if I were speaking an alien language and he didn't understand. I was physically incapable of telling him we would never be connected as Em and I or Peter and I because I could never view him as my brother. My previous feelings for him, and then the way he had calmed me in the clearing had seen to that. I wouldn't survive without Jasper, but I couldn't come right out and say it because I didn't know for sure if he wanted me back. Sure, Edward had commented on it, but I had to hear it straight from Jasper.

The truth was, I wouldn't talk in depth with him about anything because I didn't want him to see how much I was hurting or how damaged I was. The others could see it and still loved me as a sibling, it was easier with them, I wasn't wanting to become their mate.

The thought stopped me, did I want to be Jasper's mate? My eyes traveled to the ceiling, his room was just above it, I could feel him there. I wanted him, I cared for him, I was his whether he knew it or not. He only had to ask. Yes, I wanted to become his mate.

The others came into the house, having waited outside to give Jasper and I some privacy. They hoped something would happen, but it didn't, it wouldn't. Much to my dismay, Edward was with them. He came into the room and sat in one of the chairs to my left.

"You love him." He said only loud enough for me to hear.

I said nothing, but I nodded in response. I wouldn't forgive him as easily as I once had, but out of respect for the others, I wouldn't kill him. At least, not yet. To be honest, after thinking about it, Edward just wasn't worth my time or energy. Respect won out.

"If I had known, I would have never been so cruel to him. I truly thought his feelings were unrequited and that he was trying to force you into something you didn't want. I was trying to protect you." His voice was tense.

"You gave up the right to protect me when you left me crying in the forest, Edward." I said, there was no anger in my voice and I ignored the rest of his previous statement.

"I am truly sorry, Bella. I hope that one day you can forgive me. I only came here today to see you, to talk you into contacting Esme, to stop allowing the others to make your choices for you. I know I did that, I hadn't realized it at the time and it was part of the reason I left. You weren't what you wanted to be, you were what I asked of you. You had to try so hard to be the definition of perfection because I made you feel inferior. I made you dependant on me." "You can stay in one of the guest rooms." I stood to leave the room. Letting his words go in one ear and out the other.

"Jasper doesn't want me to stay."

"It will be fine Edward, Alice will see your decision and join Esme and Carlisle on their trip." I sighed heavily, nothing felt quite right when I was away from Jasper. "I'm going upstairs."

"Goodnight Bella." Edward whispered as he made his way to one of the guest rooms on the ground floor.

I went to my own room and pulled my rabbit off the couch, I played with her ears while I sat in the corner on the floor. The thought that I probably looked like a punished child made me smirk, they all thought I was so completely innocent, that I didn't understand anything about being an adult. They thought I should be focusing on the rape, but I was beyond that. I'd gotten past it while it was happening, and watching them die would be the only retribution I needed. I had an eternity of being strong and never again being victimized ahead of me, why was I the only one that saw it?

Rosalie had held onto her pain for so very long, but her pain was different, worse than my own. Her pain had ended her life, taken the things from her that she wanted more than anything. She had a bright future ahead of her, marriage, children, fat grandchildren, she was in the beginning of her life and had never known loss before her own death. I on the other hand, had experienced loss, I was truly at the end of my life, I had been meant to die, but because of a twisted vampire, I was born once more and my life started over. After awhile, things with Victoria were mundane, they were just things that had to happen, inevitable. That was how I saw it everyday. So I'd moved on as soon as it was done with, I looked forward to seeing Peter and Charlotte and learning things I didn't know.

My first birth was to Renee, I grew into a young woman in that life. My second birth was more painful, it brought with it a lifetime of pain and suffering. My third birth happened the day that the door to that cellar burst open and Peter and Charlotte rescued me. They gave me the world and I would be eternally grateful. This third life I'd come into was much brighter than the previous one, even if I was doomed to spend it without a mate, I had family, and that was what mattered the most at the moment.

A bright smile spread across my face and I went back down the stairs to join the others, Emmet was playing a video game and I plopped down next to him and picked up my controller. No words were needed, he smiled and nodded at me as I pressed the start button to join the game. We played for hours, losing and winning against each other equally.

"This is fun, we never know who will win!" Char giggled from behind me, she'd moved over to braid my hair.

"Dare to make it more interesting Bells?" Emmet winked in my direction.

"What do you have in mind?" I turned to face him.

"If I win this time," He paused to think, tapping his chin, "You have to tell Jasper how you really feel, bluntly, no holds barred."

"And if I win, Alice will have a garment bag with her when she arrives, you'll have to wear what ever is in that garment bag and the shoes to match and any accessories she has gotten with it, it will all be in your size and you'll have to wear it for twenty four hours." I glared at him.

"Deal." He held out his hand.

I watched as Rose texted Alice, in case she didn't see the decision. She was telling her to find the most ridiculous girly outfit in Emmet's size and to go wild with it. Rosalie flashed me the text before tucking her phone into her pocket.

It was touch and go for awhile and I was sure I was going to lose until I got a lucky break and won at the last second. I was so thrilled that I jumped up and shouted. Emmet got so angry that he crushed his controller and began to grumble under his breath.

"Alright, Em, don't be a sore loser." Rose chided.

"I just wanted her to tell him." He huffed.

"Not today." I sang, taunting my darling brother before kissing his cheek.

"Bella, would you like to go and fetch the other two men of the house for a few movies?" Peter asked me.

I nodded and flitted to Edwards door, I knocked quietly. "Edward, we're all going to watch some movies if you'd like to join us." I said. I didn't wait for an answer before going up to Jasper's room and letting myself in with out knocking.

He was lying there on the floor with his arm thrown over his face, if I didn't know better, I would have thought he was sleeping. He even kind of looked dead. I walked over to him and nudged his arm away from his face with the toe of my shoe. His eyes opened and he looked up at me, there was agony in those golden eyes.

I couldn't believe he'd misinterpreted what I said so badly that he had been sulking the entire time. I was slightly irritated at the fact that he and Edward had been so misled because they didn't understand the most simple things. Edward had thought I was being controlled and Jasper thought that I never wanted to be close to him.

"Boys are dumb." I said, not realizing I'd actually spoken the words out loud until they were already out.

"Why might that be?" He sighed.

"You and Edward." I shook my head, then changed the subject, "We're watching movies downstairs."

"I don't want to watch movies."

"I want you to watch movies with us though." I frowned.

"I'm not in the mood." He threw his arm back over his face and I nudged it away with my foot again. "Leave me alone, Bella." He growled, throwing his arm over his face once more.

I moved it for the last time and I got really close to his face, "If you put that arm back over your face, I will tear it off! Why are you being such an ass? We just want you to join the rest of your family to watch movies until Esme, Carlisle, and Alice get here."

"I just don't want to watch movies."

"Liar. You just don't want to be around me! That's fine. You can go and watch movies with the others, I'll just go and sulk in my room until Esme gets here. I want to be just like you." My voice had venom in it, I knew my anger was uncalled for, but I couldn't help it.

"That's not fair, Bella." He whispered.

"You took what I said wrong. I want to be close with you, but not the same way as I am with Emmet. But instead of getting the facts straight you jumped to conclusions and ran away." I didn't really understand my own anger at him, I had just wanted him to stop covering his eyes and hiding them from me, I loved his eyes. Sometimes I wondered if I was still as volatile as newborns, with the crazy stuff going on and the hectic mood swings. I shrugged off the question and turned to walk out.

"You do want to be close to me?" He asked, shocked.

"Even the blind can see that that is what I meant by what I just said." I replied calmly. "Now get your ass downstairs with me or I'll have Em drag you down, and you know he won't deny me anything." I pouted dramatically and he actually cracked a smile, causing one to break onto my own face. "See, that's better, I like it when you smile, not so much when you sulk." I held my hand out for him to take it.

"Let's get down there before Emmet chooses something horrible." He smirked as he took my hand and we practically flew down the stairs.

I was laying across Jasper's lap and I was the most comfortable and content that I had ever been. I would give Emmet a small part of his request, but I wouldn't tell Jasper how I felt, not yet. Instead, I unlocked my emotions from him and allowed him to feel how content I was there with him. I heard him take a breath and felt his chest rise, but he said nothing and we continued watching the movie as though nothing had happened, except that his hand found it's way to my braid and undid it, then his fingers idly twirled in my hair.


	14. Visitors

**A/N: This story is dwindling to an end. I just don't know where else I can take it, so we've got this Chapter, the last Chapter is next, and then the epilogue. There are just other things I want to work on.

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Time seemed to speed up, and before we knew it, the doorbell was ringing. Edward got up to answer it without being asked, the rest of us remained in our place. There was a blur of movement and I was on my feet immediately, perched on the back of the couch, balancing with ease and growling in fury. The movement came to an abrupt halt and Alice stared at me sadly.

"I'm so sorry, I should have seen that I was moving too fast." She pouted.

It only took a reassuring squeeze of my hand from Jasper for me to step down from the couch. Emmet had a small smirk playing on his lips and when I looked at him, it dropped immediately. Apparently, he had been amused by my actions. "It's fine Alice." I couldn't bring myself to hug her, so I stepped around her and pulled Esme into a bone crushing hug instead.

I didn't have to be an empath to feel the sadness radiating from Alice, but she said nothing about my dodging her. "I've missed you Esme." I whispered to the only mother I would have for the rest of my overly extended life.

"I knew in my heart that you weren't gone. I knew I would see you once more." She sobbed into my neck. "What has happened?" She pulled back to examine me more closely and I found myself shrinking back from the scrutiny.

I glanced from her curious expression to Rose and back. My hands unconsciously brought the collar of my shirt closer to my neck until I felt Jasper's hand on my back. "It's fine, Sugar, they won't look at you any different."

Rose even sat up straighter, she'd never seen my scars. Only Peter, Char, and Jasper had seen them, and Jasper hadn't seen all of them, just what my tank top revealed. I hesitantly undid the buttons on my long sleeve shirt and pulled it from my shoulders before dropping it to the floor. The only sound in the room was the fabric landing on the floor and the six intakes of breath. While they looked more closely at my scars, I burned a hole in the floor with my gaze. The atmosphere was tense.

Suddenly, Jasper spoke up, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "So Esme, how does it feel to have a matching set?" I realized in that moment, he'd dropped his shirt as well to reveal his scars to the room, I wasn't alone. My heart soared, he wanted me to be comfortable and revealed the only thing he was self conscious about to the room with me. I wasn't alone.

I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped me, and Emmet obviously wouldn't hold his back. Soon the whole room had chuckled and the tension was gone. I tore my eyes from the floor to catch the last hint of the incredulous look Esme had given Jasper before she smiled. "I always wanted one." She winked at me.

Carlisle pulled me to him and kissed my forehead. "It's wonderful to see you again."

We sank into individual conversations, and it seemed time passed even more fleetingly than before. The next morning, Alice and I forced Emmet into the neon pink ball gown she'd gotten in his size, along with clip on earrings, a wig, and makeup. To top it off she added neon pink high heels and a gold necklace that said 'Hot mess.' The family couldn't look at him for the next twenty four hours without laughing, and he hammed it up too, adding his best feminine voice and pretending to flirt with Jasper. Jasper could have done without that part, he had punched him in the face.

Emmet's only response was, "You dare to hit a lady?" The room had erupted into laughter once more.

Carlisle and Esme were only going to visit for a couple of weeks, and I had been spending as much of that time as I could with them. By default, Jasper and I had been distanced from each other, but we were okay with it, until the last day of Carlisle and Esme's visit.

"We really should be getting back. I told the hospital I was only going to be gone for two weeks." Carlisle reminded Esme.

She had a pained look in her eyes when she looked at me, "Bella, I would love it if you would come with us. You would like Alaska, and Tanya and the others truly wanted to meet you."

"I don't know Esme." I bit my bottom lip, a human trait I'd brought with me into eternity.

"Oh, please Bella? Just a short visit? You don't have anything to stay here for that-" She was cut off mid-sentence by an angry growl, Jasper was returning from a hunt and had caught part of what she'd said. He was standing in the doorway, looking livid.

"You're leaving me?"

"I didn't-" I tried to explain he had gotten it wrong, that I wasn't going anywhere, but he interrupted me again.

"No, it's fine. Run along, go pack your things, it's not like you have anything to stay here for."

His words went straight through me, shredding the pieces of my heart that remained. I stood, my anger rolling off of me in waves, and I allowed him to feel it. He took a breath and backed up a step.

"You are an idiot!" I growled.

"I'm an idiot? I'm not the one who is going to run away!"

"I'm not going anywhere! I wasn't planning to! Now, I should leave and never come back, just to teach you a lesson!" His eyes filled with dread and he took another step backwards.

"Jasper, you know better than to make assumptions from one bit of a conversation!" Esme was right beside me, her fury seemed to match my own, "You have no right to be angry, and if I had been able to finish my statement to Bella, I was telling her that she had nothing here that wouldn't be here when she returned from her _short _visit with Carlisle and I. You know better than to interrupt when others are talking, and flying off the handle before knowing the facts causes more harm than good."

"I'm sorry Esme." He whispered, but when his eyes fell on me again the anger had returned to them. "Maybe you should go. There is nothing here worth your time."

What the hell was he saying? I growled in frustration. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Go, or travel, maybe you can find you true mate." The anger was gone and he just looked defeated.

The rest of the family stared between us in shock, but they melted into the background of the room and I forgot they were there. In an instant, I was standing chest to chest with Jasper. He slipped and showed his surprise at how quickly I'd moved, parting his lips and taking in a gasp. I took advantage of the moment and grabbed the back of his head, yanking him down with force and crushing my lips to his. He tried to pull away in shock, I growled and made him stay where he was, and then he was kissing me back and nothing else mattered. When I did release him, he was panting and staring at me with wide eyes. I didn't give him the chance to speak before I finally told him. "I was under the impression I had found the man I wanted to be with above all others."

His shock turned into glee as a bright smile broke across his face, but Emmet ruined the moment, "I know Bella, but I've told you a hundred times, I'm already married."

I turned to glare at him and he shrank into his seat, "I was only kidding!" His hands were up, palms facing me in surrender.

"Did you mean that?" Jasper asked me.

"Wow, she was right, you ARE an idiot!" Rosalie grumbled under her breath.

Nothing else was said before Jasper groaned in frustration and swept me up into his arms to get me away from the interruptions. "Bella, did you mean it?" He asked as I took in my suddenly new surroundings, the forest.

"Of course I meant it. As crazy as you are, as messed up as your past is, I accept you and I accept it. The past is the past, I want to focus on my future. While I don't have the same abilities as a certain Cullen, I can see my own future."

"And what do you see?"

"You." I smiled. "But I do have to ask that you respect my mind and my body."

He crushed me to him, "Of course I respect your mind." He said into my neck.

"And my body?" I pressed.

"I'll do anything to it you want me to." He whispered, sending chills down my spine.

Our lips touched again and we fell to the ground in a frenzied heap. Jasper made everything click for me, I wanted him, I needed him. He was my everything, the thing that kept me tethered to the world. I gasped as his hands ghosted over the sensitive areas of my body, igniting a flame that had never truly burned. When I had been human, Edward had ignited sparks, but they fizzled and died. Jasper's hands lit the fire and stoked the flames higher. I ran my hand down his chest, bare from discarding his shirt during the hunt, and moaned deep in my throat.

My hand snaked down to his hip and I squeezed, causing him to buck his hips forward and a growl to rumble through his chest. "Sugar, if you don't stop now, I won't be able to stop myself from claiming you here and now." He panted, his eyes closed in pleasure.

My other hand snaked down to his other hip and an evil smirk found it's way to my lips as I squeezed once more, causing him to lose complete control. We both lost ourselves in each other, clothes discarded, bodies in motion and getting covered with dirt. The reason for the frenzy was the fact that we had denied it for so long, I was his, he was mine, we were meant to be mated.

With one final hard thrust, we both spilled over the edge and he collapsed next to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing my forehead. I just snuggled into his chest and suppressed a smiled.

"Rosalie was right." I sighed quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Love doesn't hurt." I let my eyes drift closed to enjoy the heaven I had suddenly found myself immersed in.

"It really doesn't."

I had expected to be apprehensive of Jasper, touching me in a way that I'd only experienced when it was not my choice. I had thought it would scare me for him to touch my body, I thought it would make me sad to give him every inch of me, but it truly didn't. I had never felt more at home, or more complete than I did in that moment, in Jasper's arms.

"I was an idiot." He sighed heavily. "I should have known you claimed me as your mate."

"How's that?"

"When I had to distract you, and I kissed you, you bit my lip and forever marked me as yours." he teased. "You know as well as I do that that is what you were doing."

I just chuckled and let him have his fun. "We should get back and shower before we have to say goodbye to Esme and Carlisle."

He sat up and looked into my eyes, "Bella, is Alice leaving with them?"

I sat up and turned my back to him, pulling my tank top over my head and slipping into my jeans. "I don't know."

"Why won't you even look at her."

"Because she saw how miserable I was after you all left, she told me she loved me, but when I needed her the most in my human life, she wasn't there. She saw and didn't even call." I wrapped my arms around my torso, to keep my stone heart from escaping my chest.

Honestly, she could stay, I didn't give a rat's ass. That didn't mean I was going to go all Bella and forgive her for her slights and sins. Out of everyone, it was her that had hurt me the most. She'd turned a blind eye, a fucking blind inner eye to the pain I felt without a second glance. There was no, "I'm sorry." There was no "Fuck you." There was nothing, she had abandoned me completely.

"Come on, Darlin" Jasper whispered, pulling me to my feet and saying nothing more about Tinkerbell or her exile from my heart. I appreciated the gesture, and I squeezed his hand while we ran.

As soon as we stepped through the door, our clothes a mess and our faces set in lines of determination, Peter's voice shattered the silence, "And at last, they've mated!"

I would have turned ten thousand shades of red had I been capable. The rest of the vampires in the room erupted into smiles that warmed my bones. They were all so happy. I ignored the curious gaze of a particular set of golden eyes and hugged my parents goodbye, kissing their cheeks and telling them to visit soon. I knew there were things they had wanted to talk to me about, mainly wanting me to come out with my feelings for Jasper, but because no one really allowed them time alone with me, Esme had to piss us off to get it to happen. Her smug and knowing smirk had told me that much, mother dear had done it on purpose.

The realization that I'd been duped into admitting my feelings rolled off my back and I hugged my overbearing, sneaky mother once more before they departed. Alice had remained behind with Edward, and they went for a stroll to talk and play catch up. It left me alone in the house with my family, my true coven. Peter and Charlotte had saved me from torment, Rose had aided and been aided by our talks and together we moved past our pain a little more, Emmet had been my ease of mind, always there to take me for a hunt or play against me in games when I needed to blow off some steam, Jasper was in a class all his own. He was my one and only, he was it for me, and I was it for him. We stood there in silence, needing no words to communicate that each of us completed this coven in one way or another. A complete set, unbroken and unbound.

My life had been nothing like a fairy tale, it'd been filled with pain and torment, but I had remained standing. Nothing was going to take that away from me.

I had my cushy life, filled with the love of my coven, my family, for a whole three months. Then Alice came running through the door from a hunt, tearing it off the hinges with a look of panic in her eyes.

"I don't know what they are doing here! There is nothing here for them!" She squeaked.

"Alice, what are you talking about?" I asked, unhappy about the fact that speaking to her was necessary. I still hadn't forgiven her.

"Volturri." She moaned in fear.

No sooner than she had said the word did the room fill with cloaked figures, hoods drawn up to hide the faces of the intruders. It had taken a lot to keep my control and not begin snarling at our unwelcome guests. The man who I assumed was in charge glided forward.

"It's so delightful to see you all." He beamed, entirely too happy to be where he was.

"Aro, what is this about?" Jasper asked quietly, "There've been no laws broken."

The man clapped his hands together, "I would love to say that I am just visiting dear friends, but then, that wouldn't be true. I've come for one reason and one reason only. I received word about a female being changed and then being tortured into madness. She's a liability and must be destroyed." His eyes flicked in my direction.

"I'm not mad, nor am I a liability." I growled.

"We cannot afford to risk it, my dear." Aro's eyes locked on mine, though his voice sounded apologetic, his eyes only held a yearning. "But, I will be generous. The guard will bring her back to Volterra and decide there if she is a threat. If you are deemed a threat, you will be sentenced to death."

"You can't take her to Volterra against her will!" Jasper bellowed.

Aro's eyes hardened as he looked over at my mate, "I can and I will, you will do well to keep out of it. I would reconsider, of course, if you would only join me in Volterra."

Jasper's jaw clamped shut, he stepped forward and nodded once.

"Then either way, she's coming to Volterra. Even if she is a threat, we can keep her safe within the walls of the city."

"Aro, she's an animal drinker, it's her natural hunting instinct, not voluntary."

"We'll see about that." He grinned, motioning with his hand.

Someone grabbed me from behind, I tried to fight them off, but more hands joined in to hold me still.


	15. Unleash the Beast

**A/N: This is the final Chap before the Ep. I figured I would go ahead and finish up today so I can move on to other stories. If you are disappointed in the ending, I apologize profusely, I just hit a brick wall with this and I can't just turn it into a story about fluff, cause it wasn't about that to begin with. I know you guys love your lemons, but this wasn't the story for it. 3

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"It will be safer if no one touches her. I can send her into unconsciousness if she'll only allow it." Jasper whispered. "Bella, please, allow me to make you safer."

I nodded once and was able to feel the first stirrings of his power before everything went black.

Jasper's POV-

I had to agree to go to Volterra, I couldn't lose Bella. I wasn't allowing it. I would go willingly, then maybe after a little service, we could leave of our own free will. I doubted it, Aro was beginning to grow mad with power. I had to try though. I said my goodbyes to the others and left with the guard, I had demanded that I be the one to carry my mate, and Aro granted it, agreeing that my power would work better and have longer lasting effects if I was touching her skin.

We soon arrived in Volterra and Bella was put under observation. Aro would keep her in the room when it was time to feed, but she never even flinched toward the humans, even when the blood spilled, she was calm and collected, watching the chaos. The guilt and hatred I felt on that first day nearly killed me. My beautiful mate watched as I drained a woman right before her eyes. I'd fought as much as I could, I had even stopped breathing, but Felix had thrown the bleeding woman against my chest and I lost the single thread I'd had wrapped around my control. He'd tried the same thing with Bella, but she simply inhaled, and handed the woman off to Jane, who obliged Bella by drinking heavily.

Aro wouldn't allow Bella to leave to hunt animals, he told her it was people, or nothing. He allowed her eyes to grow black with thirst but continued to deny her, as she continued to deny the bleeding humans thrown her way. She was as repulsed by humans as I would have been to drinking one of the La Push pups, there was no way she would sink her teeth it, it was as if she would rather starve to death.

As Aro continued to fail in his attempts to get her to drain humans, he grew impatient and began putting her through many tests. None of them put her into any kind of danger, he was testing her shield. She could block physical attacks, and no mental attacks could reach her at all. But as her body weakened from the thirst, her physical shield suffered and then dissipated.

Aro tried to keep his emotions in check, but while he looked over my mate his feelings were all lust and greed. He made us spend much time apart, and didn't care that we were mated. On one of these occasions, he returned to the throne missing a hand and fueled by pure rage. The guard was summoned, along with myself, and he began what was beginning to look a lot like a trial.

Bella was dragged into the room and I made to move forward but was held back by Felix and another, I took no time to find out who. Bella's hands were bound behind her back with an extremely heavy chain, in her state, weak with her thirst, she wouldn't be able to break it. She was thrown to the floor and sat there on her knees, glaring up at Aro with hatred rolling from her in waves.

"Isabella Whitlock, you've been brought before the guard today, accused of attacking me in my own home. What do you have to say for yourself?" Aro growled.

"That you deserved everything you got, you fucking worthless piece of shit!" Bella growled. I was taken aback by her words, what the fuck was going on. We'd been in Volterra a month and something very bad had already taken place.

"For your crime, you are sentenced to die." He spat, motioning to one of the guard to step forward and carry out Bella's sentence.

"Come on Aro, can't you do it yourself? I thought you wanted to have a hand in my demise." Bella asked, snickering wickedly.

I couldn't hold back my own smirk at her words.

"You sit here on your throne and make other people do your dirty work! If you don't get your way, the one who wouldn't give it to you pays with their existence. You are a pathetic coward!" Bella growled out.

"SILENCE! End her, now!" Aro cried.

The one called forth to carry out the sentence stepped in front of Bella and raised his arm in the air to take off her head. I felt my own rage begin to boil and the stirrings of the beast I kept locked away.

Bella looked into the eyes of the man ready to take her life, "I'm sure you never grow bored of the killing, or of being Aro's little bitch, but why don't you make him do it himself just once? He's angry because I took off his hand, but really, I'd have done the same to anyone who put their fucking hands on me. It was self defense really." She was babbling now, but the hand raised in the air remained there, "Actually, just go ahead and do it, the sooner you kill me, the sooner you all meet your maker."

"Shut her up!"

Bella's eyes turned to me and she looked exhausted, she gave me a weak smile. "I'm sorry Jasper, I don't want to make you do this." She whispered. What the hell was she talking about? "Jasper, I was protecting myself, Aro was trying to ra-"

"SHUT HER UP!" Aro bellowed, cutting off Bella's words.

I knew what she was going to say, and as soon as the first words of her accusation were out, my vision was covered in a blanket of red. I closed my eyes and gave myself to the beast inside who was impatiently pacing in his cage.

Bella POV-

I was trying to piss them all off, but I had to tell Jasper what happened to get out of this. When his voice roared out in an agonized, rage filled roar, I smiled to myself. This would be a day for history books. Aro had tried top force himself on me, so I ripped off his hand and crushed it into dust. He said I would die for it, and that my mate would be forced to watch. I didn't tell him at the time that I would not be the one dying. I'd watched my mate for a long time, and I saw the monster pacing behind his eyes any time someone made him angry, lusting for the fight, for the kill.

As soon as the roar broke the air, I threw my mental shield over my mate to protect him from Jane and any other mind powers they had in their midst. I summoned the very last of my strength to throw a physical shield over Jasper as well, so anyone who tried to lunge at him would simply bounce off the shield.

His eyes darkened to a black that I'd never seen in him and I quickly blocked myself off from his power as it burst from him. He waded through the fallen bodies to the only one still standing, Aro. He wasted no time in ripping Aro's entire arm off and shoving it down his throat with force, then he began tearing other body parts off and throwing them in random directions. When Aro's body was completely pulverized, he made his way through the fallen bodies, taking their heads as he went. When he was done, he piled the pieces high and set fire to them. His beast stood there, watching the bodies burn for what seemed like eternity.

The flames started moving, and Jasper's beast wouldn't be contained, so we were stuck in the flames, unmoving. I could feel the flames coming my way, but I was too exhausted to move, still shielding Jasper with everything I had. He turned to face me at the same time as my shield dropped and everything went black once more as I slumped onto the floor.

Jasper POV-

With the bodies stacked high and the flames crackling, I began to come into myself. I wasn't entirely sure what had happened or how I had taken out the entire guard and the brothers without even getting bit once. One second I had been staring at Bella, the next, flames. I heard a soft gasp and that was all it took for the beast to go back into his cage completely, hell he curled up and went to sleep. I turned to look at Bella just in time to watch her slump to the floor, her strength entirely gone.

I went straight to her and tried to get her to come around, but she wouldn't. I shook her and even slapped her, but she was gone. I broke the chains binding her hands and scooped her up, running out of that pit through the tunnel system. When I reached the end of the final tunnel, I waited an hour for the sun to go down before I climbed up through the exit and took off running. I kept running until I was sure we were safe and then set Bella down so she could come to, then hunt, she desperately needed to hunt.

I heard movement nearby and growled out, low and threatening.

"Oh shut the hell up! It's us." Peter snapped, coming out of the tree line, fuck, I didn't know where I was, so I didn't know how the hell they would.

The others came out of the trees beside him and Alice darted over to Bella. I growled but stopped when I realized what she had in her hands, a large thermos. She unscrewed the lid and I smelled blood, it smelled like bear, but I couldn't be sure. In that moment, I remembered the color of my eyes and looked away, expecting to feel shame.

"Stop that, Char and I feed on humans so you aren't getting any shame from us, and you aren't gonna get it from the others either, they accept Char and me just fine." Peter huffed, rolling his eyes at me.

Bella began to stir as soon as the thermos was opened and she could smell the blood. Alice held it to her lips and she drank greedily, the thermos was soon empty but it did nothing to lighten Bella's eyes.

"Bella?" Emmet whispered quietly, getting closer to her.

A snarl erupted from the unconscious woman and Emmet backed up a step, but then she was sitting up and looking around. Her eyes found mine and she allowed me to feel the amount of relief she was feeling at just seeing me alive and well.

"How did you guys get here?" She asked.

"Alice." Rosalie sighed.

Bella's eyes focused on Alice for a moment and then she focused on Emmet, he looked like the only one that hadn't hunted recently. "Wanna hunt?" She asked him.

"Hell yeah!" He beamed, his sadness at her growling at him completely erased.

They took off through the trees and the others turned to me, "Is it true?" Peter asked, "Did you take out the entire guard?"

"Yeah, the guard and the brothers are dead, I just don't know how."

"I saw through Alice's vision, Bella must have used all of her remaining strength to shield you. You unleashed your power and they all dropped, then you picked off their heads like you were picking cherries." Edward shrugged, a small smile on his face.

"I don't remember that." I shrugged.

"My favorite part would have to be watching you shove Aro's arm down his throat." Alice chirped.

"He did what?" Peter gasped, then he started laughing, "I'd have shoved it up his ass."

"He touched my mate." I glowered at the memory of what Bella had said.

"Speaking of, you and that little spitfire are one hell of a duo. You can drop 'em quicker than you can drop your pants, and she can keep them from getting in a lucky shot." Peter's pride tripled as he spoke

"You do realize the Romanians are going to take this opportunity to come back into power, don't you?" Rosalie asked.

"The Romanians aren't power mad. They were honest rulers once and I'm sure they will be again." I shrugged.

I heard the melodious laughter of my mate approaching as she recounted the things she'd said to Aro in the chamber that was supposed to witness her death.

"You are a vicious woman, Bells." He chortled.

She stepped back into view and in an instant I had her in my arms. "You'll have to give me a detailed account of what happened later, it seems I blacked out on one hell of a show." I told her, running my thumb beneath her golden eyes and sighing in delight, "It's good to see you well fed again."

"We should move on now, Bella has taken out the entire ecosystem in her feeding frenzy." Emmet teased.

Bella rolled her eyes and smiled before placing her hand in mine and leading the way to an airport. I was concerned about my control but Bella had just turned to look at me and she smiled, "I'll be your anchor."

It didn't really matter much, we ended up hijacking the Volturri's private jet to get home anyways. Peter and I had been licensed pilot's, it was easier to get out of one country and into the next that way. When we neared the US, we crashed the plane into the ocean and swam to shore in the middle of the night. Bella had taken too much joy in destroying a Volturri toy and had been the one to suggest leaving it in the ocean.

We were quick to rent a few cars and drive back home, not dawdling in one place for too long. Bella and I missed home, we'd been away from it for too long.

As soon as we got through the door, the phone started ringing. Esme had called the house four hundred times in a tizzy because Alice had told them where they were going and said she would call to check in as soon as she was sure we were safe. Alice blurred across the room to pick up the receiver and then started talking a mile a minute.

The rest of us just settled in and relaxed, it had been a long ass day.


	16. Epilogue

**A/N: This just tells a little bit more about what happened in their future. I know it's short, but I think it covers everything.

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Time kept on moving and we went on with our lives. Bella was helping me to regain control of my bloodlust and she was happy to help. She was happy in general, her emotions were always so positive and I found myself gravitating her direction for more than the fact that she was my mate. Everyone was concerned with small things, shopping, or other ridiculous things got them down, but she was steady, she was constant. Her emotions had stopped fluctuating so much that I got whiplash from them. She was peaceful and content.

It took another month for her to finally sit down and have a conversation with Alice and Edward. She laid her grievances out on the table and told them exactly what was holding her back from forgiving them. She told them they each have one shot, if they hurt her or screw her over again, she was done with them. They both made a promise, and were holding it up well.

Bella did do something that I strongly advised against, but she was damn determined to have her way, as she usually was. She wrote a letter and sent it to Jacob Black, telling him of the things she'd been through and thanking him for being such a good friend to her while she was human. She told him that the sole purpose of the letter was so he wouldn't be stuck questioning what happened or asking what if. She told him that she missed him, and that though he didn't know at the time, he'd helped her through a lot even after the change. At the bottom of the letter, she had written our phone number and told him to only use it if he wanted or needed to.

He did use it, he called about a week after she mailed the letter. I had answered the phone and had to hold back my laughter as he stuttered through a greeting and then asked for Bella. It took a while, but she finally convinced him that no one was screwing with his head and that it was her. Her voice sounded very different than it had when she was human, so he wasn't sure. That first day, the talked for six hours. He told her that he was happy to hear from her, and though he didn't like what she'd become, he was okay with it if she was happy and not eating people. He told her that he had imprinted on a girl from Forks and it turned out that Bella went to school with her, we all had, Angela Weber. Jacob had two kids, a four year old and a two year old, the youngest was a girl and they had named her Isabella Marie Black in her memory, he told her that the little girl had eyes very similar to what Bella's had been and they laughed and teased and joked.

Jacob gave her an update on her father, he'd remarried, and lived for six years after Bella went missing, but he and his wife were killed in a car accident. Bella mourned for her father, but accepted it. She was glad he wouldn't have to go on living, asking why his daughter never came home.

After that first conversation, they talked on the phone once every two weeks. They had discussed meeting up, but quickly tossed that idea aside because of the smell on both sides. They finally decided to keep their friendship through the phone, and Bella was happier for it. I had even spoken with Jacob myself, but it was only long enough for me to thank him for making her happy.

Alice and Edward eventually went back to live with Carlisle and Esme, but Rose and Em stayed with Bella, Peter, Charlotte, and I. We didn't waste time with school or any of that, we just stayed in our mountain home until we had to move on and we continued that way for awhile.

Two years after we were mated, Bella agreed to Marry me, she even let Alice pull out all the stops and we invited all of our contacts to the ceremony. My favorite memory quickly became watching Bella walk down the aisle in her dress. She was truly the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and she was walking down that aisle to me. I was nearly vibrating from the giddy emotions I felt, and they were all my own.

Our honeymoon lasted four months on Isle Esme, it was our gift from our parents, they paid any expenses and told us to stay as long as we wanted. We tore down a few trees, some of them were Esme's favorites and we had apologized later, Bella wouldn't have sex inside the house on the island because she said we would knock it down and have to replace it.

Looking back was never painful anymore, Bella accepted me for me and that included my past. She praised me for my strength and my character, and she made me happier than any man on earth just by being herself. I never knew that someone could be capable of loving so deeply, let alone that it would be directed at me, but Bella proved me wrong on both counts. She loved more deeply and more passionately than anyone I'd ever met. I was truly looking forward of spending an eternity with such a magnificent creature and I knew she felt the same about me.


End file.
